| Ben Howard – Black Flies Lyrics | 10 years ago |
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I loved this song from the first time I heard it, and I have listened to it so many times. Somehow though, just tonight it hit me like an absolute brick to the chest. I'm not even sure I can stand to talk about it right now, and at the same time I feel compelled, even if no one cares. I'm sorry if this is a little jumbled. The lines that hit me the hardest: "comfort came against my will, every story must grow old." I don't know why i didn't see it before, maybe because it wasn't so personally relevant before. I thought that first line was clever, but couldn't put my finger on it. I get it now. I understand what it feels like when that deep ache that threatens to swallow you whole just ... eases, and it's a very mixed feeling. You want to hold onto the pain, because it's still a type of connection to a relationship that meant so much to you. And when you don't feel that vibrant pain as strongly, the 'story grows old." The idea of it is unbearable, how could it just be over? But comfort has to come. Yet, it 'comes against your will' because you have to 'go your own way' you just wish with all of your heart that going your own way didn't mean 'passing [them] by.' maybe if hope had had "a humble hand" it wouldn't have turned out this way, but you were a fox instead, and a fool. He invested so much in this friendship, but he couldn't carry it entirely. I think there is also bitterness in the line 'maybe you were the ocean when i was just a stone.' You were so huge and important to my life, and you tossed me about and forgot about me. I was somehow inconsequential to you. Still I'll be a traveler A gypsy's reins to face But the road is wearier With that fool found in your place You don't get the option in this life of just giving up because someone tears a part of you up and throws it away like it meant nothing. I'll keep going, Ben says, driven like a gypsy, but I'm changed, and that's not just okay. What you did by me was wrong. I don't know how he managed to write my soul, but he absolutely did. |
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