| 10 Years – Fault Line Lyrics | 11 years ago |
| http://www.recoveryranch.com/articles/sex-addiction/love-addicts-relationship/ | |
| 10 Years – Fault Line Lyrics | 11 years ago |
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Well I just left a toxic relationship. It reached heights of pleasure and torment I've never experienced. And my belief is that he and I played exactly opposing roles. I always saw him leaving me. He always felt smothered. Eventually, the internet gave me insight to the problem (check the link below if curious). We were addicted to each other. But he is outwardly afraid of attachment and inwardly afraid of abandonment. On the opposing side (my side), I am afraid of abandonment and inwardly afraid of attachment. So as I tried to get closer to him he pulled away. He was always suspicious of me for what I couldn't fathom. But it was simply due to my attempts at connecting in a sincere emotional way. We are both guilty of emotional manipulation. We both thought the other one was maliciously not meeting our needs. When I would finally turn to leave, he would turn back towards me. This last time, after absolutely countless break ups, I entered a crisis unit for depression and suicidal thinking/ attempts. He met me there. But the person that was left of me was emotionless. EMPTY and BLANK. It was weird and creepy. He was so nice and concerned for my well-being at that point. Showered me with compliments and gifts as never before. Actually apologetic for his behavior. I just had nothing left in me to trust he wouldn't leave me AGAIN empty, alone, and broken. So I became suspicious of his attempts at connecting emotionally with me. How could this time be different than before? He must be faking. He just feels sorry for me. Who is the guilty party? Who is the leaver in the relationship? He was emotionally unavailable throughout the whole thing. As soon as I left emotionally he arrived. I can picture both of us saying the lyrics, EXCEPT the part about looking in the eyes. I only can picture him looking in mine at the crisis unit and subconsciously knowing I checked out emotionally. I didn't even know it yet. |
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