| Grizzly Bear – Colorado Lyrics | 12 years ago |
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I just started listening to Grizzly Bear recently and I am slightly alarmed by how much I can relate this song to an event in my own life. I was in Colorado on a family trip with my brother and father. We were there to go on a five-day river rafting trip along with about ten other people we didn't know. It was the last week of my summer vacation, and I was starting college the day after I got back. I was mostly depressed and lonely throughout high school, and had the belief that this would only be exacerbated in college, and even moreso throughout my entire life. I had a very bleak outlook on my future, to say the least. On that trip, I met someone who completely changed my life in those few days. We were together a lot, and got along very well. He had no idea that I harbored such strong romantic feelings for him, but he paid me attention that I had never received from someone I felt that way for. He thought I was smart, he laughed at me, he thought I was an interesting person. It felt amazing to get that kind of attention from someone who was so much better than me. Everything about him was perfect. His body, his wit, his kindness, his attractiveness, his intelligence, his sociability. I would have hesitated neither then nor today to say that I was in love with him. I knew I should make some attempt to keep in touch with him at the end of the trip. I knew that my shyness as a person should not be able to conquer the great fortune I had had in meeting him as a decider in this decision. I had to take action. But when the last day came, I didn't do it. It just didn't make sense. I was someone he liked spending time with on a vacation, but not important enough to keep in touch with. I just knew he was a person who it just didn't make sense to ask this of. When the trip ended, and everyone had parted ways, my family and I were the last to leave. I just sat in the backseat of our car, knowing that I would never talk to him again, and started crying. After a little while, my dad looked behind him at me, and saw it and asked what was wrong. And after that I just started sobbing. I may have been able to contain it, but I wasn't trying. I didn't care. My body was just still, weak, in defeat. I didn't communicate or acknowledge anything he was saying. I couldn't begin to start to talk to these people who know so little about who I am. My dad stopped the car and went around and opened the back passenger door, which I was leaning against, and I just fell out. I was rather shocked when I realized how closely this song relates to this story. There's the song title, and the lyrics, and to top it all off, the whole atmosphere of the song that feels like the hopelessness and loss that I felt. Many more emotions from this experience that I can't put into words, I also feel when listening to this song. It all feels so real when he sings "What now what now what now what now." |
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