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Withered Hand – Hard On Lyrics 12 years ago
I'm pretty sure the first verse is "A beard" not "beer" as it is in verse 2.
And it's "Vox amplifier" not "and a Firebird" which doesn't make sense.
But thanks for getting "John Updike" which I couldn't discern.
What's effective about this song is the witty use of phallic symbols and the juxtaposition of high seriousness with offhand humour. It has passion and it has jokes. Just like Bob Dylan.

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