| Skillet – Madness In Me Lyrics | 12 years ago |
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This song resonates with me because it reminds me of life with dissociative identity disorder. "Just one spark is all it takes / I tried so hard but all goes up in flames" I can't always choose when I switch or what triggers me. "This is not the way that I thought / I would turn out to be" When I pictured myself as an adult, I distinctly pictured someone taller, more academically accomplished, and not hampered by a serious disorder. "Tried to get but all that I got / Was more insanity / Broken everything that I touched / Just gone against me" Trying to work with the alters and accomplish some healing, but often making things worse. "I can’t get away" That speaks for itself. Alters are never truly free from each other. "From the fire that burns inside, consuming" Unexplained feelings of anger. "I fight to stand up but I can’t breathe" Panic attacks. "The voices scream, the enemy takes over everything / This is the madness in me" My alters aren't my enemies, but the feeling of chaos and loss of control are still there. "Just one chance is all it takes / Can’t change the past but I can fight to change today" I honestly don't know what caused my condition, but I do my best to make it bearable for everyone. |
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| Skillet – The Older I Get Lyrics | 12 years ago |
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I have dissociative identity disorder. To me, this song is about my mother. She doesn't deserve my anger, because she never did anything to hurt me. In fact, most of the trauma in our past was accidental (accidental injury, sick siblings, etc.). Yet there were certain things that she could have done which she didn't do. She hurt us in ignorance. Eventually I stopped asking her for help. As more alters surfaced, I cut off all meaningful communication with her in an effort to protect them. I became more reclusive, more private, more secretive. Today I have almost no communication with her about any part of my personal life. And that's not fair for either of us. To me, this song mourns the connection we used to have. |
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