| Marianas Trench – All To Myself Lyrics | 14 years ago |
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This song holds a lot of meaning for me. I met this guy that was different from anyone I'd ever met. We'd decided to have an open relationship. The first time I made out with this guy, I told him about it, and I could tell he was hurt. He said he didn't want to do it this way anymore. I didn't either. I'm one of those people who was holding out sex for the right person. I met that person at 21 and we both lost our virginity to each other. We dated for six months. His grandfather was terminally ill so he had to move a plane ride away. I've always had a lot of guys like me, and I've had crushes on them. I told my boyfriend all the feelings I had about everyone. I didn't want to hide anything from him. He was the only person I trusted enough to be with. He never felt good enough for me, like all the other guys were better than him - older, smarter, hotter, etc. None of them had his heart. I really missed him being away and did something horrible. I was plastered one night and had oral with my housemate. I told my boyfriend right away. He was so hurt, but he forgave me right away. While we were doing distance, he got distant. He told me this song All to myself reminded him of me. A few weeks later, he broke up with me, and started dating this girl in his city. He put me on a pedestal, and never let me see how much I was hurting him. I never really understood it till now, how much he meant to me. He would have done anything for me, and he wanted me to want him and no one else. He kept blaming himself for not being as amazing as the other guys in my life. He tried to suck it up, and forgive me about the incident with my housemate but he never really did. He tried but he just couldn't suck it up. I didn't understand what I had. Now the tables have turned. He's seen the worst side of me, now he deserves to see my best. I'm going to treat him the way I should have always treated him, but this time as my best friend, not my boyfriend. He is still the best thing that has ever happened to me. He holds contempt for me right now, but his true forgiveness and love as a friend will be my salvation. I'm going to become the person that he deserves. One day at a time. |
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