| Tori Amos – Silent All These Years Lyrics | 14 years ago |
|
I'll never forget hearing this song on the radio when I was thirteen years old and just being drawn in by Tori's beautiful voice. I'd consider it her signature song. I don't want to call it the more-accessible version of "Me and a Gun," but... it does have similar themes, with some hope to offset the darkness and a more radio-friendly instrumentation that just makes it easier to listen to than all the pain in "Me and a Gun." In interviews, Tori's said that she was inspired by the story of The Little Mermaid, which she references in the chorus: a woman who gave up her voice and became something she wasn't in order to earn love, and has to struggle to win it back. While I do I think the song describes the story of a specific character (not necessarily Tori herself) living through a pregnancy scare, I think the overall themes -- trying to find your independence while navigating a culture of oppressive relationships -- are deeper than that. The line about being "saved again by the garbage truck" makes me think that she took a home pregnancy test and needed to destroy the evidence, and "boy, you best pray that I bleed real soon" pretty much speaks for itself. She worries about being disowned by her family, wondering if she can survive on "twenty-five bucks and a cracker" if she's thrown out of the house. The lyrics hint that her previous relationships have caused her pain, too -- the line about her "scream [getting] lost in a paper cup" makes me think, possibly, that she was sexually abused after having something put in her drink at a party (or else someone took advantage of her while she was inebriated). She also carries insecurities into her current relationship. She dismisses another girl her boyfriend knows who "thinks really deep thoughts," implying that she doesn't think she herself is intelligent, and notes that when she wears his jeans, they still have his previous girlfriend's name written on them (having your significant other sign your jeans/sneakers with a Sharpie was a cool thing to do in the 90s; dunno if anyone's still doing it now). Still, I think the story has a happy ending when she's confronted by her boyfriend's judgmental mother (in her "nasty dress"), and he "takes hold of [her] hand." She acknowledges the judgment, says "yeah, I can hear them," and doesn't care anymore, because she's finally found someone who accepts her unconditionally. But beyond the specifics of the story, I think this song speaks to so many people -- even if they've never been condemned for having premarital sex; even if they're not even women -- because it's about subtle ways in which even our most intimate relationships oppress and hurt us. The fact that in the end, she DOESN'T say something along the lines of "screw all the haterz/I don't need ANYONE but me/whateva, whateva, I do what I want," but rather that she wants to find someone who will love her for who she truly is, makes it so much more realistic and powerful for me. We can't live without relationships, and the answer is never as easy as just cutting it out of our lives and pretending it doesn't exist. Living with the pain long enough to work through it it is what takes real strength, and this song embodies it beautifully. |
|
| The National – Exile Vilify Lyrics | 14 years ago |
|
I think it's unusual that this song would only be about Chell, since she's described as incredibly tenacious -- she never, ever gives up -- and the song seems to be about feeling powerless. It reminds me more of Doug Rattmann, another character from the game. My explanation is a little spoilery, though, so skip it if you want your Portal experience to be totally fresh: [SPOILER!] If you read the promo comic "Lab Rat," (viewable @ http://www.thinkwithportals.com/comic/) you find out that Rattmann was a scientist employed by Aperture who survived GLaDOS's purge, and spent years wandering the facility alone, increasingly suffering from schizophrenia as his medication ran out. Eventually, he became the "rat man" whose writing you find on the walls of the passages behind the test chambers (you can thank him for the "cake is a lie" meme). He found Chell's file and believed she might be able to outwit GLaDOS, so he put her into the test rotation before Portal 1, and made sure her stasis chamber had enough power to keep her alive while the lab was falling apart at the beginning of Portal 2. [/SPOILER] In the game, the only place you hear "Exile Vilify" playing is on a radio in one of his "rat nests," a tiny, dilapidated room hidden in one of the tests chambers, with some of the lyrics ("sucker's luck" and "don't even try") and illustrations of them painted on the walls. I feel like this story makes the song even more poignant... I get the feeling that Chell might not even know enough about her situation to grasp how hopeless it really is -- as a vessel for the player, she has no past and no memory; she doesn't really have a choice other than to just roll with the punches -- but Ratman has been watching her and suffering for the both of them. Goes to show that there's definitely more to Portal than just laughs. |
|
* This information can be up to 15 minutes delayed.