| Chris De Burgh – The Lady in Red Lyrics | 15 years ago |
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No, no! You're all wrong! This is an ode that notorious SEX PERVERT Chris De Burgh wrote to his mistress about the joys of coitus during a female's menses aka. period sex! The man had a noted affair in the 90s with the children's nanny, and I think it was something of a revelation for the old badger! See, his wife had long since undergone menopause, & there were whisperings that their sex life had hit several speedbumps. Chris was known on the scene as something of a ne'er do well, a scoundrel, a scallywag! He was a veritable bloody hound for menstrating POONTANG! Any pretty little young, fertile thing would set his olfactory senses ablaze! It is known as fact in the animal kingdom that most predators have an added sense when it comes to detecting blood - well, Chris, being a predator of the highest order, has a highly attuned radar when it comes to a young lass on the rag. He also has a bit of a Soviet fetish, & was rumored to call his fetish for 'blood sports' (period sex) "joining the communist party!" So, what does he do? He's not the most easy on the eyes, and his star had faded somewhat, so he turned to what he knew best...Crafting a smooth jam sure to get the ladies to drop their knickers like you or I would drop a hot baked potato! Using his fertile imagination, he envisioned what it would be like to be the successor in a hunt for an especially fertile lady garden. He imagined that other men in the vicinity (aka. 'da club') would also be stiff competition, so he'd have to lay on the sleeze and the cheese to stand ahead of the pack. Through empty compliments about decidedly NON menstral attributes like 'highlights in your hair" and the allegorical "red dress' (more like BLED THRU MAXI PAD THAT HED HUFF WITH ABANDON! THE PERV!), he is able to woo his naive lass into the sack. This is where things take a far more lurid twist... This passage here may SEEM innocent enough, but it is not of a woman's visage, but of her nether regions. Read it with that in mind and it will take on a far more lascivious twist: "I've never seen you looking so gorgeous as you did tonight I've never seen you shine so bright you were amazing" *This is referring to how menses causes a women to emit extra secretions (of the red variety), thus enhancing her genitals overall sheen and luminosity. "I've never seen so many people want to be there by your side" *The other predatory men encroaching upon the fertile young female, setting Chris into DOMINANCE/BERZERKER mode. "And when you turned to me and smiled it took my breath away" *The "smile" hes referring to is not one found on a woman's facial lips... Its the lips DOWN BELOW which have gotten him in such an erotic frenzy! "And I have never had such a feeling such a feeling Of complete and utter love, as I do tonight" *He initially had substituted "ecstasy" for "love" and is referring to the unparalleled bliss that can come from porking a woman 'on the rag' - No need for lube there! It is a straight up DIS against his dried up, menopausal wife! WHAT A DOG! I could go on, but I think I have MORE than proved my point. I dare anyone dispute these disturbing yet groundbreaking claims! Not since Mick Hucknail have we seen a pervert of such epic proportions! ITS TIME FOR THE TRUTH TO COME OUT!!! |
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| East 17 – It's Alright Lyrics | 15 years ago |
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I think you've tapped into what made this song such a youth anthem of epic proportions, doodoobubble. At the end of the day, people just want to be coddled and told that, despite the drudgery and ennui of our beigish gray existences, there truly is a hypothetical pot of gold at the end of our rainbows. The meaning of this will vary from person to person, so Mortimer's lyrical simplicity here is really paramount. It lends the song an open ended air, so that the listener can PERSONALIZE & pin their unachievable/yet to be achieved hopes, whims, and dreams onto the songs universal message. What I find staggering, to this day, is the weight with which I am HIT each and every time I pop this baby into my Sony Discman. Like Lisa Lisa once sagely sang "Let the Beat Hit 'Em"...Boy, does it ever, Lisa...Does it ever... I am at once uplifted and humbled, rocked to my very core. This song really has the strangest most contradictory effect on me! I think its b/c I now look at it with the eyes of a seasoned elder, but can also imbibe the song with the meaning it held to me as an innocent school girl. It ultimately leaves me feeling rather melancholic, if you must know the truth. See, the lads of East 17 (and they were but boys when this broke the charts) were full of youthful vim and vigor, they HAD reached up, plucked the brightest star from the sky (hell, they WERE the brightest star!), and were JUST beginning to reel it in, greedy little fingers beginning to touch infamy when... THE BEAT WENT BAM! (like Tony prohpechized)... And we all know the rest of their tragic descent into tawdry tabloid fodder, ill-fated reunions, televised weddings, and baked potato addictions... Each of these boys had demons, and were robbed, I feel, of the status they truly deserved once said demons reared their ugly heads and the band's once airtight bond was left in shards... I listen to this Jam knowing all the misfortune that East 17 had yet to suffer, and it breaks my heart, doodoobubble. It shakes me, breaks me, and abuses me in a way that you may never know... I PRAY you never know, at least... Maybe I just feel too much... Maybe I just want EVERYTHING TO BE ALRIGHT? But I know that is a world I will never again inhabit. I am no longer a fag smoking, White Star drinking, stars in her eyes 15 year old playing truant... I am seasoned by the hands of time, and have seen things that have both shocked my eyelids and rocked my very foundations... There is no going back... I guess all we can do is look ahead... Will you take my hand, doodoobubble, and look towards the future with me? If you squint just a hair, you can see those purple mountains where the horses are rumored to run... Maybe we will catch up with them someday? *sigh...* |
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| East 17 – Thunder Lyrics | 15 years ago |
| I think "Thunder", much like Custer's Last Stand, was Tony Mortimer's last stolid cry for help. If one looks at the riddle like lyrics with an eye that is attuned to spotting underlying tonality shifts & allegory, this become most present. Thunder was one of East 17's last great successes as a cohesive 4 part unit. Many know that after their demise, Tony became something of a recluse, refusing to trust anyone but his trusted psychic medium - There are eerie foretellings of this encroaching madness woven intricately throughout this stirring anthem. Most blatant is the "rap" segment, in which Tony FLAT OUT says/raps over thunder claps & an erratic beat "I guess I'm going crazy, everyone's telling me so"... To actually hear the desperation in his voice over the studio warping effect is truly chilling, and I feel as though I have, if only for a brief moment, crawled into the very psyche of a madman! He also alludes to "a pain you endure, more than enjoy". This tells me that hes gone from a playful S&M flirtation to full on self flagellation. Is Tony a cutter? Has he made a martyr of himself as the one who bears the brunt of anti-East 17 backlash after that fateful (and infamous) Brain Harvey interview? I think 'Thunder' in its purest sense, equates chaos, nature's ability to destroy & cause hysteria, and our INABILITY to control this. While he dreams of "purple suns" and "the place where horses run" (his childhood? a meditative state of zen?, East 17s Glory days?), I think this is a visceral account of a man on the brink of virtual insanity. We know in real life, Tony did descend into agoraphobia & struggled with the ravages of an eating disorder (self flagellation?), so I really do feel this song was something of a battle cry for help from the mind of a man that was too great to be understood by his peers and contemporaries... | |
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