| Sia – I'm In Here Lyrics | 15 years ago |
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This song speaks to me on so many levels. I was nearly broken down to tears when I first heard the piano version. Even after hearing it a million times over, I still feel shaken to the core when I listen to it. Every time is still the first time. You see, I'm a closeted gay male and it kills me to have to hide who I am in fear of losing the ones I love. No one knows that I'm gay. Not a single soul. I've been in denial about it for years. I'm a screaming cry for help and I feel like no one can hear me. I cry myself to sleep some nights because I'm so hurt by being who I am. "Can't you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now? I've been waiting for You to come rescue me" This has two different meanings for me. There's the knight-in-shining-armor aspect: I've recently befriended a gay guy that I'm hopelessly falling for but I know we can never be because I'm "straight" and he's taken. This is the guy I think of every morning and every night. I just want so badly for him to be the one to hold me and show me all the reasons why I should come out. And then there's the other aspect in which my family tells me that they know that I'm gay and they accept me and still love me. I just don't want them to look at me any differently and I definitely don't want them to treat me any differently. "I am fearing it all, Stuck inside these walls" I'm too afraid to let myself out of the closet because of fear of rejection from everyone that I know. "Tell me there is hope for me Is anybody out there listening?" Sometimes, I give up all hope in living a truly happy life. I just wish that one day someone will tell me that everything will be okay and I actually believe it. |
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