| Tori Amos – Winter Lyrics | 16 years ago |
|
I know that Tori Amos wrote this song, and that there probably are influences from her childhood which shaped it, but I am not inferring that the child I am writing about below IS Tori Amos, particularly as these are only speculations on my part. To me, this is the description of a child’s transition into adult hood, but I wonder if in fact she remains untouched by anyone. The lines “Boys get discovered as winter melts, flowers competing for the sun” sounds very distanced, almost as though she never actually got a boy, and it’s the other girls, the “flowers” which are too hard to compete against “for the sun”. It suggests to me that she was too convinced of her own ‘ugliness’ and too shy to go out. I wonder if there’s a touch of bullying in her early years, that the “Sleeping Beauty” (and in my copy of the lyrics, it’s “TRIPS me with a frown”) is a metaphor for someone curtailing what she wants to do by some means or other, and this is the start of her feeling that she is not worthy in some way. The only happiness she remembers is the time just before that - “I get a little warm in my heart”, although her father is obviously a huge source of strength to her. I did see the white horses as a metaphor for time, as in when you’re a child, time moves very slowly, there’s everything ahead of this child, there’s plenty of time. And then suddenly, time has run out, the horses have not only left their beds, they have galloped past her and gone way into the distance. Reminisces of Stephen King comparing time to “My little Pony”. But yes, I agree that her father has died, particularly as I took the grey hair to be her own. The line about “I tell you that I’ll always want you near” suggests that she always wanted her father around to protect her, and perhaps has not coped with his death very well. “Mirror mirror, where’s the crystal palace” — it may be that she covered her childhood unhappiness with grandiose dreams of her being a princess and living in some crystal palace from which her Prince Charming would come and rescue her. An excuse for being cold and alone. However, when she grew up, such dreams could no longer cover up her problems, so she can’t see the palace any more, only herself. She still won’t look at herself directly, although there is a sense that she will no longer be able to avoid the confrontation for long — “The ice is getting thin”. Under the ice is the dark, icy water of reality which she is terrified of facing. In the end, though, things remains as they are and she has reached old age, all her dreams of being rescued and transforming herself have been shelved, she is accepting of her fate, and the only sense of regret we have is “You say I wanted you to be proud of me — I always wanted that myself” — this could be read two ways, but I felt it says that her father knew she wanted him to be proud of her — which he was, and continuously told her so — “When you gonna love you as much as I do” but she could never really accept that herself. It might be read that she was proud of herself, but “I…wanted” says to me that she never achieved it. A very depressing but beautiful song, and the “Never change” at the end seems to indicate that she effectively made sure that things never changed right up to the point of her death (the death of her father was perhaps something she could never accept, that in some ways he never died for her). Perhaps, if the white horses are a metaphor for angels, the last line is a reference to them coming at last for her. |
|
* This information can be up to 15 minutes delayed.