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They Might Be Giants – Women And Men Lyrics 16 years ago
This seems to me to be a song about the European discovery of the New World, and how the discoverers had entirely the wrong attitude towards it. The first verse says that they shouldn't have gotten excited about the discovery of new land, what they SHOULD have gotten excited about was the discovery of new PEOPLE. But they didn't value the people they discovered at all.

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Fountains of Wayne – Hat And Feet Lyrics 16 years ago
This is cartoon imagery. You know when you see a piano fall on a cartoon character and smash him, and then he squeezes out from under it, but he's all squished so that all you see is a hat scurrying around with a couple of feet sticking out of it? Well getting dumped by his girlfriend was like having a piano fall on him. And now he's just a hat and feet. Very clever concept.

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Joan Osborne – Spider Web Lyrics 16 years ago
Okay, I'll take a shot at this.

We all have things about ourselves that we would like to change. Osborne is asserting that it's not that simple, because the things that you consider your weaknesses or handicaps may ultimately be connected to your strengths. She uses Ray Charles as an example of this. If he had been able to see, he might have done something else with his life instead of becoming a musician. (When he gets his eyesight, his voice deserts him.)

The "spider web" is a metaphor for how all the different facets of yourself are connected to each other. It makes no sense to simply wish for one thing about yourself to be different, because everything you like about yourself is connected to it. (So when you gain, you just might lose.)

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