| Nine Days – Bitter Lyrics | 21 years ago |
| My theme song anymore.....it's true bitter feelings in song form. | |
| Jimmy Eat World – My Sundown Lyrics | 21 years ago |
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I noticed that no one really has a negative view of this song, so I thought that I would add one. Not that it matters, I don't know why I'm wasting your time by typing this and making your web browser take a bit longer to load this page because of it.....such a waste I suppose.... "I see it around me, I see it in everything I could be so much more than this" You look around and realize that you could be so much more than what everything around you is, but this thought is in a sort of dissapoitment because you know that you can't be more until you have the thing that would allow you to be so. For me, this thing is love as silly as that may sound to some.... "Said my goodbyes, this is my sundown I'm going to be so much more than this" For me, this is leaving everyone I ever knew before behind as I head off to college. I plan on cutting all of my contacts off for their own good, and I don't really have any friends so that will be no problem. The only people I'm really saying goodbye to is my parents because I'm planning by now not to talk to them very much again so that I can finally be fully alone. I hope that college will make me feel something more, be something a bit greater than this....but when I say "I'm going to be so much more" I'm not really thinking this. I'm actually being a bit gloomy about the future because I'm "agreeing" with what my parents taught me about college making me feel better about myself and everything with the feeling in my heart that it wont do anything of the sort. In essence it's leaving everyone you know to become something you could have never become with them, with the weight in your mind that it's in desperation and that it wont really work despite your fake optimism. "I need you to show me the way from crazy I want to be so much more than this" When I was in public schooling, and even sometimes by myself or in front of others in other locations, I would truly go insane due to everything being too much....so that in a way is how I relate to that. But the lyrics aren't just referring to that kind of crazy in my eyes, it seems that it means crazy in the strange way you act, the crazy way things around you work, etc. Basically how messed up everything is. You need someone to show you something other than this "craziness" that you've known, something better. And finally, it's admitted that you only want to be more than this....and though you are trying, you feel that it'll be only a wish that's buried deep inside you in the end. "With one hand high, you'll show them your progress You'll take your time, but no one cares" In my case, this is me finally in college. I would by now be working on several solo musical projects and would be doing many computer based programming and designing projects. I would work maticulously and patiently, taking my time; then I would show people my work in hopes of someone being impressed or proud of all of my labor but no one would care. They'll see how far I've come from where I was, but it would not matter to a single person. So, I slowly slide into a deeper inner depression while I hide inside myself more and more. It essentialy means that in your attempts to become something greater, you work slowly but surely and show everyone what you have done so far....and you are dismayed to find that your fears come true when no one cares. "No one cares, I could be so much more than this No one cares, I wanna be so much more than this" This is me going into the state that I drown myself in work on friday nights and other times that I should be enjoying myself, but because I have no one to spend them with I weep away each project alone in my dorm. I keep reiterating to myself how none of this matters and it makes things even worse inside and because all alternative options are not appealing it just stays this way as I recount how I have failed myself and others. As for pure meaning, to me it is just, as I said, reiterating that you still want to be more....but no one cares, and thus it doesn't matter. "good goodbye lovely time good goodbye tinsel shine good goodbye I'll be fine good goodbye good goodnight" I cry when I sing this. To me it's how I'd watch the days go by that I should be having fun (lovely time) and saying goodbye to my thoughts of ever shining as a star (tinsel shine). My hopes and dreams of ever being important pass me by, and with a frown I hold back my tears and I do my daily tasks and continue my pitiful existence. I'd do volunteer work to help others, but from fear of messing that up and with realization that I wouldn't really be needed there since there are so many volunteer workers I just continue to work. When people ask how I am, I lie and say that I'll be fine....and as I slowly fade away, I say goodnight. Can you guess what comes next? In essential meaning, it is as I said before. It's watching the days of joy you wanted to have pass by, it's watching your hopes and dreams die, and it's watching you die as a whole.... |
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