This is something Devon from Osker said once: "while you have gallons of mohawks and leather jackets telling you that they do what they want, I don't believe them…I respect the person that says, 'I don't care for that' because there is no extreme, it's pure sincerity. Punk is doing what you want despite the infiltrators, outside of the skateboards and shoes and hair and patches and the diets and the tattoos. I am Devon and I have 5 close friends, the rest of the world is divided into the helpers and the clueless.” Devon rocks. me: "hello friend. tell me, what has happened? everything used to be all good now things are all bad. why don't we smile much anymore friend? life used to be enjoyable but now life is no longer a joy to live. what has happened friend? i ask friend, please tell me, what has happened? what has happened to our perfect little world? we knew nothing of these sins we have become so accustomed to. we used to wonder why older people never looked happy, at the time we just didn't understand but now we do. what are we kids supposed to do when we are no longer kids?.. friend?"

another snippet of who knows what: what makes us happy when we are not. is it people? is it events? is it a new outlook on something? is it hope? i think that sometimes nothing can make you happy, except time in a sense. Time is everything, it is also nothing. Everything good that will happen in your life will take place in due time. Same for the bad. So time is what makes us happy? If you can look at it that way, then yes. I can’t. But I do realize that Time can be the thing that keeps you going. It can’t make you smile when you’re sad, nor lift your head when its down, but it can be the thing that gets you thru. Not the day, not the week, not even the month or year. It’s what gets you thru the time that you are in, the present and however long the present lasts. I guess in a way the present is always, but I don’t look at it that way. The present to me is more like a period of time that you can say fits together. The present ends when a new present begins. It’s like a period in your life. My present right now is one of total confusion. I have some psychological things figured out but not so many physical things. College, where i stand with people, friends, other things of that sort. I think my present also reflects that of the world right now. Much confusion and a lot of transition. Music is in a weird time as well. The ‘pop’ around now, most everyone(music critics) will agree is horrible. Even the stuff on the indie labels isn’t as good. ‘Everyone sounds the same’ i hear all the time. What can you do though? Nothing but wait for this present time of confusion and transition to end and the next present to begin. Let us hope that the next present is one of filled with compassion and happiness for all.

a poem: i’ve been sore for one full week and happiness is just out of my reach i find direction then the winds alter, and my map it goes a flyin’ like my mind when i lose sight of what’s right i’ve been tired for one full month there is no you to want so i have no meaning on this calm night i search with no thoughts of seizure for there is nothing here of value now, i’ve looked and declared i’m sure Next year is suppose to be my year the year i break out, live, become, forget about here, forget about now Next year might be great, but what about what i have here i wish i could meet you, the you i don’t know, hell i’d bow until the inevitable inevitably never happens i will continue to wish and want, wait and watch, and never stop loving the chase that is finding out that tomorrow won’t be any different from today unless we live today with sincere hopes of a better tomorrow