how can anyone not love the rain? the sound on a metal roof. the sound on a canopy of trees the sound on the window. the smell before the rain, when you know it is coming and you get that twinge of excitement. the smell after where everything is fresh and new. the feeling of the slow start, the drops falling lightly on your shoulders. the pounding of a heavy rain when you just give up and become drenched in the tears of the sky. looking up into the rain is seeing the convoluted pieces of rain and sky and buildings and trees and maybe excited hands, that are life. all the things around us we can see truly when in the rain, because truth is just as clear as a rainy day. The funny thing about rain is that you can't hold everything at once. one feeling overcomes you and the next is waiting but forgotten for the moment. like theatre or dance human interaction it is a caucofany of sounds and sights and feelings that cannot be understood simultaneously. each sensation is to be internally analyzed sometime later in the quiet of ones home, to be remembered as one event that can be told in a few words or in a lengthy discussion among good friends. you can hear your laughter as you dance in the rain, but your tears dissapear. your heart leaps with your body as you create a rain dance and hope that the rain will stay. all feelings turn to elation as you enjoy the leaps and bounds of an uncaged bird. free in the rain. how can anyone not LOVE the rain?

There is nothing as depressing as watching the person you love walk off into the distance dissapearing slowly into the shadows of the trees. they don't look back and you know that they are not even considering you. they didn't even say goodbye.

i recently fell into liking Neutral Milk hotel. it strikes a chord with me that does not happen very often. i can sit and listen to "In an Aeroplane over the sea" a few times through before i am slightly tired of it. when listening to this album i am reminded, as i always am, how much i wish i could create the feeling they create in me in another person. it doesen't necesarily have to be through music but i wish i could find my medium to instill fear or love or anything in someone elses heart. the closest act that i have encountered is acting. although i do not consider myself to be an excellent actor or even a really good one i feel that i can create a fantasy world for people that they do not have in their regular lives. i give them some of the escape that music gives to me. however i am still looking for the perfect medium and i am starting to believe that it does not exist.