everyone loves puppy love...for me, being in puppy love is like, the coolest time ever. Unfortunately, it never lasts...either the person you're with ends up irritating the HELL out of you, or you end up falling into what I like to call LEMUR LOVE and then eventually LLAMA LOVE. This usually happens around three months into any relationship. My history with boys always has me ending up being horribly irritated or hurt by them three months in...no lemur or llama love for me! BUT....recently I've been seeing this guy, and he fucking rocks, seriously. I've been really careful about my feelings, I don't want to get hurt, blah blah blah and all that good stuff that everyone says...but the other night he told me he loved me...and that's a big deal for me, since in every relationship I've ever had, I've always been the first one to say those three words! So, to actually hear it from him, first, and very honestly...it was awesome. and now I find myself no longer in what I thought was lemur love, which is like, the second stage past puppy love, where you "like each other so so much"...and I'm now in llama love, which, well, is love. I want to be entirely happy sappy and mushy about this, but again, I'm not a retard, so I'm being careful...I hope I don't fuck it up, (I have a bad tendency towards cheating, but that's pretty much because I'm too much of a wimp to break up with whomever I'm with at the time...) and I hope he doesn't fuck it up 'cause my heart is at stake! but...all in all, it's a good wonderful feeling. I have a tendency to miss him more often and wait for his phone calls a bit more, but other than that all other effects are positive! ahaha, I sound like a doctor talking about a new medication...the medicine of SWEET LLAMA LOVIN'!!! the funny thing is...he's like, my total opposite...when I first met him, I thought oh my god he's so freaking preppy mr. abercrombie, I'll never like that...and he told me when he first met me, he was worried that I was into goth (because I had a thursday t-shirt on...which he did learn isn't goth...:) so our styles are totally different...I like hot topic and he likes abercrombie...I like punk music and he likes RAP (EW EW), he was super-popular in high-school and still hangs out with his high-school buddies...and I was practically non-existent in high-school with no friends...he's soooo into sports and I'm soooo into cartoons. but you know what? the real inside stuff....that's what we've got alike. the way we view the world, and the people in it...the way we feel about friends and family...and I guess in the end, that's what really matters...for the LONGEST time, I was dating all this punk/emo boys, because we had so much stuff alike on the outside...we could go to concerts and talk about music and shit...but each time, I'd get to know the person inside, and they'd be ASSES. go figure, the first time I meet someone who isn't an ass is someone who's never even heard of The Perks of Being A Wallflower, who has no tattoos or piercings and never plans on getting any, and who thinks adult swim is a waste of a sunday night! And ever since we've seen each other, he's slowly become more and more attractive to me physically as I have to him...it's craziness, I tell you!! LOVE IS CRAZY MOTHERFUCKIN' SHIT!! ahahahah...okay now I have to go listen to some more sappy love songs.

dude seriously, keanu rocks. I totally forgot how good a movie The Matrix was until I just watched it again on tv...a movie that still rocks the fuck out of you four years after the first time you saw it is like, the epitome of movies. Maybe I don't make sense, and yes, I am a huge nerd, but then again, I don't really give a fuck about anyone else's opinions about the Matrix movies so yeeehaw for me. Seriously, I have absolutely no reason to be writing again tonight, except for the fact that my little brother is sitting right behind me at his computer, typing away...poor kid thinks he's the fastest typer there ever was...so I had to get on my journal here just to show him up and type all this in the space of a minute or two! ahahhaah...that's what big sisters are for!! showing up their little brothers and then calling them ferengi-heads afterwards.

My very first entry...and I realize that I have nothing of tremendous interest to say...how unfortunate. I ate a creamsicle today and it was fucking awesome. And I have a new favorite song!! I figure I should do an entry every time I find a new favorite song, which is like every day. Anyways, it's called "The Seed" by The Roots and it's KICK ASS. I am not a huge hip hop fan whatsoever, but my boyfriend is into it, so I tried some out, and I heard this song on the radio and fell in LOVE. It's fucking awesome dudes, seriously go download it. The lyrics are about getting a chick pregnant behind his girl's back which is a tad bit unromantic but hell, I listen to it for the rhythms. Fuck yeah for The Seed and creamsicles!!!