This fag boy steve who use to work at the Festiva I do came up there and said I was talking shit about him to somebody. I was calling him a fag to his face. He didn't do shit. Anyway I have to find out who it is, so I came up with this plan to weed them out. Evil mind at work. I was ready to fight him. Security was already out there though. So we gotta come up with some cockamamey bullshit time and place. There's a fucking feeling in my stomache that somes from the excitement. I am so ready for this. Kinda like the dude who pulled into the parking lot after seeing me pulling in. They were laughing but when I waited outside for them they went all the way around to avoid me. It was 3 of them but fuck it. I was pissed and I got balls. I will end this like this. You are reading this so you are in my head now. Wipe your fucking feet before you enter my domain.

I feel like my friends are just using me more and more everyday. If it's not something I can do for them, then I really don't here from them. Maybe I just wanted too much. I thought about all the times I wished I had something. Now thought I got it. I feel like it's ripping me something new. I had some of my so called friends before I started driving, before the money, but I think they changed after the fact you know. I can't figure it out. Being the evil guiness that I am, they will be weeded out. Ha ha. Prepare for your doom bitches.

To Amanda or her parents, 3/16/05 It's been almost a year since the birth of shall I say death of the child that was to be mine. With all the confusion of you telling me you weren't goin to keep our child and then going back on your word, you can understand why I was distraught at first. Besides, you made this decision, all the decisions without me. Despite the way you got me to get you pregnant and your composure after getting out of the hospital adn your questinable behavior, I am willing to face you one more time. Not to get things back the way they used to be, but to name our child. i need to obtain a death certificate. I need closure. I can't do this without you being there. Even though you left me with all the medical records and permenant scasrs, they won't let me have access to do so. Call Ben Taub and name me as the father and then call me. My dad's number is 713.672.1033. You can call me first because we might have to go together, but keep it clean. Don't call sort of hours eitther. My cell is 832.563.1356. Don't try anything. It'll be the same just as if it was that same day you saw me last. Because of you AI have experience a new kind of heart break. i don't even believe in in heaven or hell anymore. To prove a point, I bet you don't even remember the birthday. Call me soon. Dead inside, Blue

I called the number the drummer guy left me. I was disappointed to hear tha chic say he wasn't staying there anymore. It was great hearing him call back with hid own place and number. He said something on my voicemail that made me happy for lie 30 seconds. I was smiling to myself. He told me he felt it. He said it was fate man. So all we need now is to buy a set. I can't exactly nail down his nail. I don't know if it's Sal or Juan. I'll just call him Red like he said in the voicemail. Well I don't wanna write on another page so I'll just talk about the chics I met on this page. I was looking for chics to "party with" but I didn't ofcourse. Shavonna, is a cool chic, but she calls a lot. I like her personality though. Kinda young and squarish, but in touch with her sexuality. That will always earn points with me. Monica is a little more my type. You know out of my league, a party girl, and something else I forgot. She stays pretty far from me. They both do, but Shavonna the furthest. I like Monica more because I am fucked up obvioulsly and it's written all over her too. I haven't met either chic up to this point, but I'm an idiot. i will never meet the one I want and then blow it with the one I do. Dam chatline. Dam hopeless idiot.

Well DAg, Danny, and I tried to go out once. Danny was in jail for 2 months. Must of been hell for him. So I figured why not wait for him to get back from the Astro's game. I almost missed Dag because he was skateboarding by the time I got out of AA. That was a long ass day fucking with Anna trying to get Steve's hair braided. Which she did not do. Seeing my probation officer and meetinf Mr.Joe. Not to forget that crappy credit union. We saw Lose Control, a punk rock band who only played 3 songs after we payed $8 to get in and $5 for a fucking shot of cheap vodka. The energy was amazing. Not enough chics though. I can neer dress to the occasion now that I think about it. We went accross the street shortly who had the same door fee. Only 2 bands left though and the door man wouldn't give us a break so we split. We went to pick up JIm who doesn't have his shit together for a middle aged white dude. He's cool though. He burned me some cd's for some beer and cigs. We went to Hot Rods and 2 or 3 more bars and also Walgreens before we decided to just buy beer. It was 20 after 12. We failed at that too. We were disappinted. Didn't get home 'till 3. Longest day I think I ever had. Lessoned learned? Don't bring anyone under 21. Just joking. We need to find spots, get Danny a fake id. or find chic and make it a chill out thing.

Chics can be assholes too. ONe Day this little slutty number from work accused me of not being a pimp or claimed to be one. Whichever first. I forget. Anyway I told her to write her number down. She played like she didn't know what I was talking about. So then I told her to put it in my phone, she didn't I guess she has too many dicks or I'm just afraid to really try. Hell I wanted sister first. I just couldn't come to grips that she was slutty too. Well, if I put my evil mind to work, I could lose focus on what's imortant, my money. So whenver I get the chance I will nail her and make her regret not giving me the pussy easily. She should really stay off of my dick for future reference.

Dag and I were drinking one day. Yeah we started pretty early. I might have a few brain cells missing and confuse this with another day. The way I remember it was I left a bottle of white tequila at his house. We started drinking and jamming out. ANyway we went and grabbed something to eat. This whore turned me down because I didn't speak spanish. Dag was doing this new shit sucking CO2 from a baloon. It was crazy. We recorded us jamming out on a kareoke machine. It came out pretty shitty, but it was funny and fun. I did a lot of drinking and driving that day. I can say I have mastered it. Oh now I remember. I went to his house to barbecue the meat I got at work. His friend called and he ended up eating my food for the week. Stupid bastard. He was bragging how he still had steaks from the night before. Anyway, that was a new experience for me. NOw I shared it with you. If there was a hell. Dag and I are going to it.