So summer is offically in full gear. I have already successfully made out with one of my sisters friends at a party in Cleveland this weekend. So im a bad girlfriend, what else is new? nothing I presume. I am always bad in some way or another. Whether it be lying, or cheating...or simply my apathy kicking in again...although I do blame that on my good friend Mary Jane..teehee. At anyrate, I partially blame the beer for the minor mishap this weekend. the other part I blame my need/ want for something new, exciting, different that what I have been accustomed to. Check out the book "Happiness TM" its all about how we can never really reach socital "happiness"..nor should we want to. Life is just a mixture of happiness/saddness/ confusion/imorality/ everything else. Every day holds a new feeling/ problem/ dabocle....who the hell wants to be happy..all we would be are a bunch of tree hugging hippies....ehh...maybe its not that bad..... peace

To whomever decides to puruse: do any of you sit down and simply ponder the most simple and natural things in our every day lives? One thing i was thinking about tonight is how often we are fake. how often do we smile at someone and be nice to their face, but turn around and say what a complete loser they are? or compliment a disgusting sweater they paid too much for? but then, do we say these things to feel better about ourselves? to make ourselves seem like "Good" people. or, do we say these things to make the other person feel good about themselves....maybe they had a bad day and you simply cheered them up by being "Nice". is honesty all the rage now? example :: went to a grad. party and noticed a boy all by himself and we invited him to sit with us on the deck...but not more than five min. earlier we were discussing that his ears were too large for his face, and he seemed like a really wierd kid. yet we invited him to sit with us..and we all put plastic smiles on our faces...and held conversations with this poor guy. after he left...we continued to make remarks about him...but said that it was nice of us to have invited him over...how corrupt and awful can we be? yet we lable ourselves as "Christians" or "Good People"... if anyone agrees or disagrees with this....drop me and email..... sjhaid@hotmail.com or read the book ::: How to be Good....by Nick Hornby (one of the best British authors i know) keep it real..