so here i am. my exams are done. no more school. no more countless acquaintances all day. just time for working on the band and delaying myself. and of course i am found doing nothing on a night i should be "partying". all the people i enjoy hanging out with are out drinking "special tea"... and i'm about to go mellow out with a good friend. and i wonder why i'm not excited

i finally get my god damn drum set. i'm so excited. i've been playing for awhile but never owned a set of my own...now i must inform as many people as i can....It's my turn to be content! sounds shallow...well yeah it is. everything is. i haven't been able to release all my lows for a long time, besides into drugs and alcohol...we all know how that goes. so here i am awaiting next saturday.

everyone looks to the ups and downs of their lives to determine their happiness. i think that's stupid, we're going nowhere but around, everyday..just around. focusing in on "falling down" and "rising up" is pointless...this makes me so frustrated, i hate having the realization that so many people get depressed over stupid little fucking things, they let everything effect them, they just start killing themselves from the inside. i hate this. if we all just focused on living our lives instead of everyone elses..we'd be so much happier, life would be worth so much more, and used so much fuller.

well, not that any one will ever get around to reading this... but today i realized that without music, i would be nothing right now. music is my god damn confidant...also my fuckin "innocent" kitty just gave me hives.... without ears i would be...well....useless