life is rough. i choose to stay alive for the select few that care about me. things aren't going so good due to another select few which are currently choosing to make my life miserable. i think i've over used the phrase "will this matter to me in a month." i've said it far too many times for it to make a difference. i've done something stupid and it was over a year since i've done this. i can't believe the amount of stupidity and frustration it took for me to do this again. i am the definition of a dysfunctional teenager. i'm very ashamed to say that. i hope that everyone else's lives are just wonderful. i choose to not think today.. it'll only lead to more stupidity. but it's inevitable.. i will eventually stop doing something and it will lead to thinking which leads to trouble... life confuses me.