I just got in a fight with my best friend. And I realized I don't care. She told me to kill myself, so I blocked her calls. Then she comes on like she n Jeff are back to being friends. I don't know why I cared. But the whole time we were fighting I was enjoying it. I'm twisted. I find more and more that I don't care about anything. I guess I know now what people think of me. People say shit like "go get mental help, seriously!". Fuck them. I try to help myself. But what am I supposed to do or say when nobody gets it. I just want for someone to see where I'm coming from. Like Robb, I'm sure that hes great for what I want now. But he thinks hes in love and that shit. I Don't feel like I'm in love. I don't think he is either, I think honestly he just wants to be in love like Sam (his best friend) so he'll pretend he feels things that arn't there. And Erwin also thinks he loves me. pfft, if only he knoew how bitter and mean I really am. I don't know if I'm capable of being sensitive or loving. Anyways.....

Yesterday I kissed Robb! It was great. But I guess if all goes well all these fuckers who say they love me will grow up. Because I don't think anyone can love a pale blonde dipshit from wyoming unless they are intoxicated and haven't seen a woman in like 30 years.