well, i accidentally submitted that last journal entry before i was done with it. the edited version is now in my profile. apparently the corrections don't show up here...umm ok apparently they do...

current music: third eye blind - wake for young souls wow i am seeing third eye blind in like 30.5 hours. amazing. i can't even believe it. do you know how it is when you are just waking up or just going to sleep and you are like half awake, and you think of something, and you just think about it differently than you would if you were awake? wow this is kinda hard to explain. but that happened today when i was waking up and i was thinking about the concert. it's like you are capable of this entirely different level of comprehension when you aren't fully awake. ah too hard to explain, but maybe you know what i mean. i also woke up with a really bad headache today. i think i need to go to the doctor. i have had way too many headaches lately.

why is it that at most of the concerts i've been to, one of the performers has said, "texas has the most beautiful women..."? well, i guess it's because they think so. i think it's interesting.

current music: third eye blind - blinded i fell in love with third eye blind all over again tonight. i am seeing them live on the 15th, and i decided i would listen to all of their albums and read the lyrics, especially so i could learn out of the vein better. and i was just realizing again how amazing they are. their first cd is so important to me and i associate it with so many parts of my life, and i will never ever get tired of listening to it. and i am loving a lot of out of the vein too. several of the songs are really starting to grow on me. i hope the concert is as awesome as i think it's going to be.

current music: something corporate - konstantine it kind of sucks always being the last one awake. kyle used to be good at staying up w/ me but he has allowed himself to slip into a normal sleeping schedule, and since cam is gone i don't have much to do. i'm suffering from a bout of jealousy right now. i don't really want to say why. and i know it's not really a big deal and i know i shouldn't be, but you know how it is when your mind has a little something to go on and it just creates the worst situation that could possibly exist? and i don't want to play games and i know i should just bring this thing up that i'm worried about, but then it's like i want to wait for him to say something, but then it would seem like test of whether i can trust him or not, but it's really not like that at all and it's not like i need to do that. anyone who is reading this is probably thinking this is something much more serious than it is. of course it's not a big deal, but to me it is. being an extrememly jealous and possessive person also sucks. i wonder if everyone in a relationship is like this or if i am worse than the average person. it's not like i don't want him to have a past, but things from his past upset me, and they really shouldn't, considering he didn't even know me then. it's like i won't let myself be totally happy. and i know there will never be anyone who doesn't have a past or who isn't attracted to other people but it's a little hard to accept that. but i would rather know that than be oblivious to the truth...