awake one devotion to an empty moment silence broken by words unspoken lyes are faught w/ facts unclear emptiness fills my heart by fear now im awake, now im alive. unspoken and untrue to my feelings inside i have to have you. i need you. i want you. now im awake, now im alive, now i can feel and fear no eveil. awake. im ok desparation runs through mybody, cold and thick as rain. cant you stay tonight? the air is clearing, im breathing again. lieing next to you i can feel the comfort condeming my body. and im ok, im ok

well im sitten here all alone b/c every one is gone. my mom and ron went some where, tj and jeff are high(of course w/o me) they always do that. and they left. i hate how jeff comes over and doesnt hang w/ me. i think its b/c of my bro. but i thought that we were friends.we NEVER hang out. all of my other guy friends and i hang out. i dont know if i really like him as a b/f or just as a friend. either way hes a cool guy. but im to ugly to get him. so im happy just 2 be a friend. lol. im so bord. i wanna do somethin, but theres nuthin to do. i wish i could hang uot w/ my bro and jeff but they wouldnt want me round right now b/c im not high...lol. well i went to this open party, dustys, it was awsome. mark, clint, kyle, justen, lora, and mandey were there. and then i met this guy. his name is travis lord i think. hes soo hott. i flashed him and kyle. im soo stupid. after i did it i realised that kyle was i my class! im like ooo shit. i hope they dont tell.but they probly will. ooh well idc wat ppl say. im gonna go 2 the next party he has. but im gonna dress warmer. i was so fucking cold! well im gonna go bye!

Gosh, i hate boys. they all suck. i like this guy named jeff jhonson. hes so cool. hes into eveything im into and we like the same music. hes so funny and doesnt care wat ppl think of him. we tell each other everything. but lately, hes been acting strange. when i asked him wat was wrong he just said he didnt feel like talkig. he has been avoiding me for 2 days now. im like totaly inlove w/ this boy i met him over the summer by one of my friends at the time (bryan). you see, every day during the summer me, kaci, bryan, and kyle would meet at the pool everyday at lik 9 or 10 in the morning, then we would saty till 5:30pm(ill tell u y in a min). we wouldnt just stay at the pool, we would walk the taco bell or tp khols or something near us. (we lived in the 3rd richest neiborhood in alpharetta, so every thing was near us, like in walking distance) it was sooo fun. one night (this is y we can only b out till 5:30) tj, kaci and bryan desided to sneek out and role this dudes house. while me and kyle sneek out 2gether. we were gonna spy on them. we got caught, and was grounded 4 a week and had 2 be in by 5:30 the rest of the summer. when jeff would come over it was sooo great! i could spend every day w/ him. i would do ANYTHING for him! hes so great.but idt that he likes me that way. the summer of 2002 was the greatest summer a girl could ask for. well i have 2 go ill type more 2marrow