in my mind we have the good life, i dream of waking with you beside me your eyes is my sunrise... i dont have anything else but kisses from you whenever i need it.. thats all that matters really. but thats asking too much, but even a smile, the sight or even the scent of you is getting farther away from me every waking moment.. i could use some apathy right about now

why does this always seem to happen to me? i try to play by the rules and yet somehow, it keeps screwing me over. i try not to say a word, in hopes of being unable to miss anyone.. but instead it made me more miserable and alone. so i tried to bleed my heart out, its like a fucking nightmare.. last wednesday was the best day i ever had, and then, she just stopped showing up.. when's gonna be my fucking time?

today is the day i have proved that the world's against me. i hurt, i bled for her and still not enough. its bad enough that i regret the chances i never took during that first time, did fate or god had to make my life more miserable by depriving me the chance to see her? how can fate/god be so cruel to make me fall for somebody one day and then take her away before i even get the chance to tell her?

ive been sleepless for days waiting to see you again. but what do i do when i do see you? i hate the fact that you had to make me feel this way when im this close to being alone and content. of course i cant blame you for how youve made my life a marriage of heaven and hell in one day. only thing worse than this is you knowing that...

its painful for me to not say a word, when a million words are not enough... but its me, drowned in my own despair against my fear of you wasting your life with me.