My parents are so fucking blind to my feelings and my life. Or do they not even care? This weekend is going to blow. They're going to Ocean City with my sister for some stupid lacrosse shit and of course I'm left here with my little sister and grandparents. It happens every fucking year. And every fucking year they leave me alone and miserable. This has to do with a lot of other shit and not just OC but what the fuck are they thinking? And they won't let me have anyone over. So I was going to go over someone's house but my "friends" have other plans that they tell me at the last fucking minute. So I guess I'll just stay here and get high and drunk up in my room all alone with no one that cares. I wake up and think dreams are real. I sleep so I don't have to feel. But you thought you could never be, The one person that won't ever forget me. -Armor For Sleep "Dream to Make Believe"

That was monday night. And I'm still feeling the adrenaline rush every time I think about it. It was at the 9:30 Club, very awesome place by the way. Damone was first, they weren't bad, they're lead singer is a girl in case you haven't heard them and she was pretty good. Next was Further Seems Forever, they were amazing. Jason Gleason was so great. He was definately made to perform. Just watching him sing some of the deeper, sadder songs you totally take him in. His face shows exactly what he was feeling even though their was hundreds of people watching him, and thats what its all about, being able to share what you feel. It definately touched me, not trying to sound like an emo kid or anything but it did. Juliana Theory was good but they had some technical difficulties that took awhile to fix and even when they did, you still couldn't hear him too well. The Ataris of course were great too, Kris is always amazing to watch, I saw them last November at the same place and they played relatively the same line up which was kind of disappointing since I wanted to hear some of their older songs. But it was all good. Feels like I'm waiting in the last hiding place on earth haman's noose tight round my neck but I'm saved for 100,000 memories been washed ashore be swept again by forever and sailed away from you. "Now the rain is ended so the sun can shine through me." -Further Seems Forever "The Sound"

Does anyone else ever feel like theres nothing left for them to do? I have that feeling a lot, I'm not sure if its despair, hopelessness, or maybe even lonliness. I don't know what is going to be left with my life. I have all of this emotional shit built up from over the years and now I can't get rid of it. I feel like theres no one that wants to listen anymore or that even cares. There are very few people left that I would share these things with. When they're gone what can I do? I'm alone, and no one will be there for me in the end, I won't even be there for myself. am i destined only to die the same way that i lived, in seclusion? -The Ataris "Unopened Letter to the World"