Hi everyone! Sorry I didn't post any entry in awhile, but was truly busy with everything especially now its a new year, it busy busy busy. Now I give you------

 

Part 5 of Chapter 1 - More than

 

Doing laundry, the clock strike 11.45am as I hang the last shirt on the string. The weather is just perfect – sunny and bright, sky so blue. Wind blow my untidy hair and I breathe deep, so calm and makes me feel alive somehow. It’s been awhile since I went outside the house, especially my house. After Mile passed away, all I did was just lock myself from the world. The feeling that I have for Miles will never disappear so easily, he was the only person show and made me feel what love was all about. Only god knows, truly how my heart ache calling for Miles to come back.

 

I went back inside the house and straight into my room carrying the empty laundry basket, looking at every room as I walk pass by and everything was already clean, arrange in order. Change into my dress – pink and short, wear my flat shoes – red with a tiny ribbon on the side, I pull my blouse out from the luggage, got my handbag and put the money along with the grocery list inside my bag.

 

Approach the door, there was a tiny wooden table, a bowl full of keys and a note stick to one of it.

 

Dear Jessie,

 

This is my car key, if you go out please just use my car and attach to it is the house key. Take good care of my car, if there’s extra grocery money and enough time please send it to the car wash.

 

-Mary

 

I thought to myself of how can someone kind hearted as Mary would easily be cheated, worst that I’m the person who wreck her life. God, I’m a real fool. I wish I can just go to my parents and explain everything, but now not only I lost Miles but I also lost just about everyone in my life. I can’t even pick up a phone to say a simple ‘Hello’ to mother. Again before I open the door, I look at everything making sure nothing is wrong. Nod my head gladly, close the door and lock it.  Mary’s car was a yellow Volkswagen beetle, what made me happy is it’s one of the car where you can open the rooftop.

 

It made me remember the time when Mile got a car for his birthday – a Black Mustang. The roof was seal not even a sun-roof and he knew how much I love an open roof, so he got it modified just so that I can be happy with my hair dance freely every time he would speed the car. The wonderful thing is that he would do just about anything to make me happy and truly, I miss the things that he do to make me smile and the things he would say to make it alright.

 

Driving slowly, I look to my left and right. “Where am I exactly?” I ask myself – confuse. Just have to drive around until I find a store or anything really. A few minutes driving afterwards, I reach town – small, but loud, very loud that you can turn this town into a club. The sound of people honking their cars – not like there’s a traffic, but really just a sign of Hello. Went around and around, till I can find just a small grocery shop would do me go. I’m trying to avoid going to supermarkets at the moment, might end up bump into someone I know – might.

 

Finally just the perfect small shop, I think I can get as much as I need to from this list. I can go straight home and take a few hour sleep before Mary and Tommy gets back, I’m sure they will ask me to do a lot of things, especially Tommy.

Part 4 of Chapter 1

 

“Good morning Jessie,” Mary greet me as I place a plate full of scramble eggs on the dining table. Mary dress in blue, her reddish hair curled making her face look thin, she climb down the stair with her blue heel in her hands.

“Good morning Mary,” I greet back.

 

She sits down and Tommy came down in a black suit, fixing his tie and cough as a signal to his attendance. I place more plates on the table for Mary and Tommy. Woke up at 6 in the morning today, managed to place a lot on the table – Blueberry Pancakes, Scramble Eggs with Sausage, Cinnamon Bun, Orange Juice and Water. It’s overwhelming but I was being safe to avoid being slap by Tommy.

“Jessie, this is wonderful!” Mary clap in excitement and quickly grab everything she can, placing them on her plate.

“Blueberry pancake?” Tommy question me as he point to the pancakes.

“Yes sir, it is,” I answer standing near the table.

“Great! My favorite,” he smile and grab 4 slices, pouring maple syrup all over. He took a big bite and sigh of happiness.

 

For a while they eat and Mary keeps looking at me as she took a bite of the food she grabbed earlier. Watching them eat, make me hungry but I will just wait for them to finish and I will eat by myself, it’s only right.

 

“Grab a plate Jessie,” Mary hand me an empty plate. Confuse, I just kept silence

“What are you doing?” Tommy look at Mary – rage in his eyes.

“She can eat with us and that’s not a problem,” answering politely while still holding the empty plate on her hands.

“She’s a maid, not a guest.”

“Fine!” Mary smash the plate on the floor and keep silence.

“I’m sorry honey,” Tommy holds Mary hand as he apologize, he looks so disappointed in himself, “Jessie, sit down and grab this empty plate,” he beg as he hand me a plate and command me to sit with a sad face.

 

As I sit down, I grab a slice of pancake and a spoon full of scrabble eggs. Mary smile at me and let go of Tommy’s hand. She eat happily and took a sip of the water.

 

“So Jessie, are you married?” Mary asks and Tommy cough as he was eating his pancake. Took a glass of water and finish it quickly.

“Why are you asking her questions? And act weird today?” Tommy look at Mary.

“She’s my friend, not a maid and I can ask whatever I want from her.”

“But –“ Tommy got interrupted.

“Hush, I’m talking to Jessie,” she look at Tommy and look back toward me, “So Jessie, married?”

“Em..no ma’am, still figuring out.” I startle.

“Well, better look for a husband fast. All the good ones almost taken.”

“Not planning in the near future.”

“Tell me everything about you, I have a lot of guy friends and I know they are looking for someone.

 

Again Tommy cough and just continue eating his breakfast.

 

“Maybe some other time,” I answer, forcing myself to smile.

“It’s time to go Mary,” Tommy kiss Mary by the cheek, but Mary quickly push him away.

“Not nice to do that infront of other people.”

 

I look away, feeling uncomfortable. I stand, pick up my plate and went into the kitchen. As I way away, I can still hear their conversation – loud and clear.

 

“See, look what you did?” Mary sound unhappy.

“I didn’t do anything other than kiss your cheek.”

“Well it might made her uncomfortable.”

“Because you are acting weird, are you feeling ok?” Tommy ask gently, “Is it coming to you again? Maybe you should just stay home.”

“No I’m fine.”

“You are not fine.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“Yes and I can take care of you.”

 

The conversation keeps going. I begin to wash the plate and slowly their voices begins to disappear as I wonder of about what’s going on with my life now – only God knows. Footsteps begins to come near me, I ignore act like I don’t know. Tommy place the plates near the sink – sigh and sad.

 

“Jessie, I’m sorry.” He sigh.

“What?” Shock, I immediately close the tap water and look at him.

“Did he apologize yet Jessie?!” Mary shout from the dining room.

“Just say it’s ok or you want me to choke you to say it,” he tone down to ensure Mary will not hear him.

“It’s ok sir,” I reply and he slap my back – hard.

“Good Jessie, good” He continues slapping my back and then walk away.

 

My back so painful, I rub to make the pain go away, but it didn’t work at all. I can hear them talking and laughing, looking out from the kitchen, I can see them walking together to the front door.

 

“Jessie dear! We’re going off!” Mary shout, waving her hand towards me and I just nod.

The door open back and Mary place some money on the dining table, “Money & the grocery list is on the table, don’t forget!”

“Will do Mary,” I reply and she went running off out the door.

Part 3 of Chapter 1

 

New life – far from everyone, moving to another location – 6 hours’ drive and new house – light on, I can see from the window someone is in the house. I figure it might be my parents, another surprise party – as if the wedding was not enough of a surprise for me. What’s next? Thomas slowly park the car in the garage and turn off the engine, I twist my pink mini shirt that Mile gave me on my 19th birthday – had it for years. I begin to twist more when I look at Thomas, what plan did he had for me?

 

“Carry your bag and my bag as well, don’t be lazy.” He say looking at the house door.

“But it’s heavy and I –“ I stop as he slap my face.

“Didn’t anyone tell you not to talk back! And don’t you dare cry!”

 

I only bite my lips, hoping I won’t make a sound as I rub slowly my painful face. Slowly I open the car door and went out to the back, pulling out the bags – heavy and filled. Almost drop myself down when I pull his bag, it slam on the ground with a bang.

 

“What – my bag!” He shout and walk fact approach me with anger and despite. Pushing me to the side, he move his bag around and check for any fault. Looking at his eyes – disappointed for not being able to find even a tiny stretch. “Come here,” softly he call me. Another slap on my right face. God, am I not in pain already? “You really can’t do anything carefully? Can’t you!” He insist me on answering as he grab my hand.

 

Then I hear the house door open and it’s a woman – Red hair, fair skin tone, wearing a red lingerie. “What’s going on?” She shout softly, while slowly walk towards me and Thomas. Who could this woman be? She look at Thomas, “Honey, who is this woman?” pointing her figure at me.

“This is the maid I promise you,” he smile, it shock me and I just look down. For a moment she look at him with curiosity, but then she smile.

“Oh wonderful!” clapping her hands, “I have so much for you to do,” she hold my hand soft like silk.

“I’m glad you’re happy dear,” Thomas stand crossing his arms.

“Ok, let’s go in!” she pull me in, leaving Thomas with the bags, “Bring the bags in honey, it’s heavy I can see!”

As she pull me away from Thomas, I look back and he signal me to shut my mouth by simply placing his figure on his mouth.

 

The house looks so amazing, she show me around and until she show me, my room, it’s a small room with a window next to the bed, it’s cozy and what makes me safe is the door had a lock. Looking at the woman talking and blabbering away, I feel so shame and cheated on.

“Jessie, right?” she smile.

“Yes ma’am,” I reply with a nod.

“Please, just call me Mary.”

“Breakfast should be ready by 7 in the morning because I have to leave home before 8 to carry out my daily planning with my friends and I will usually be back home at 5 -“ she was distracted by Thomas walking pass us, “- I go out when Tommy goes off to work and he usually comes back at –“

“4, so make sure the house and dinner ready on the table by 7 at night,” he approach Mary and hold her by the left side.

“Yes and I will leave money for you every day to buy grocery as I like the ingredients use are fresh. There’s some snack and drinks in the kitchen, help yourself, this is your home now.”

 

Looking at how Thomas, I mean, Tommy, he looks happy and I do believe this is his soul-mate. Mary is so kind-hearted, if I can only apologize for lying to her.

 

“You don’t talk much do you Jessie?” Mary ask me as she holds my hand and smile.

“No ma’am, just happy to be of help.”

“It’s just Mary, remember?” she smile and I reply with a nod of understanding.

 

Alone again, clock strikes 11 at night, I can’t even close my eyes. Lying down on the bed, looking at the night sky – stars shine so bright. I recap the memories I have with Mile and I keep holding back, I don’t want to let go of him. He was an angel, a savior. Peaking over my open handbag, there it was the paper that Mile wrote. God, should I start reading it now? I tie my black long curly black hair and I sit down, reaching for my hand bag and pull out the papers.

 

Slowly I begin to read the paper one by one, realize that only the first paper was about him alone. The rest was about us, how we met to the day of his final breath. My god, I cry over and over. So much love, he place so much love and time to catch even the smallest little things that we did together. I will never find someone like him anymore and I never got the chance to tell him how much he is important to me. God I’m a fool, a fool girl – who can’t even stop crying, worst that I know crying will not an answer or even help. Thus, I pray for Mile.

 

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I apologize if there's any typo, mis-spelling, I had so much thoughts in my head and begin typing away.

 

Much love

Hello people, so I figure I should also open a blog where just about everyone can read my writing. If you do enjoy it please do follow me and continue await for 'More than', I will try to post everyday but won't make any promises.

Comment or private text me to talk about my novel or just if you need someone to listen, I love to hear from you :)

Thanks for those who support me, to the new ones who just read my writing - I thank you so much. Take care.

 

P/S: I'm so new to blogging so please forgive me for the empty spaces :)

 

Much love.

Part 2 of Chapter 1

 

10 months pass by and I yet to eat anything – face pale and sick – torturing myself hoping that god would take my life too, so that I can be with him in heaven. But why am I still breathing? I try to kill myself – stab and bleeding till I can only see white lights – but still here I’m, alone. How can one explain how suffer this life is? It’s like losing your heart, exactly, he stole my heart on the first day we met and he never gave it back – I’m a human without a heart.

 

I lay down on the empty bed, facing my left side bed looking at the place where you have lay – untouched, hoping that you might come back and hold me like you always would. But never again, so I weep, hoping that you can hear how lonely I feel, how lost I am without you. Time pass by, still you’re not here, waiting hopelessly. The picture next to my bed, picture of us how you smile, it still take my breath away. Vision of you climbing down my window, just slowly vanish.

 

2 months from now I will be marry to someone I hardly know, I didn’t even hear his name – I was too busy figuring out where Mile is? Either if he’s coming to me tonight. My mind confuse and going crazy, am I become crazier by day? The thoughts of being marry to someone you don’t love, how can you even go on a day? Mother and father had taken this decision as they think it will cure me from being suicidal.

 

The date was set, the time was decided, only left now is to say the word – I do. I wish to only say that to Mile, but we didn’t even reach or even came close to planning our wedding. He always keep silent every time I start to talk about getting marry, buying a small house, living near an open lake, where we can swim and fish – mentioning about fishing will always make him giggle. He was always surprise on how my idea turn from 1 to something bigger. He had given me a peace of mind that I would have answer to my life, but I was a fooled to believe that because look where I am now – sad and lonely.

 

Time is running out, I grab my father’s arm as he walk me down the aisle and this is not how I would picture my wedding would be. All of the faces that came to the wedding, the smiles on their faces force me to smile back and every step I take, I smile to every nod of appreciation to their attendance. I look at father as he point out mother, sitting alone at the very front row bench – tissues in her hands, sobbing of joy. Dear god, should I just try to be happy to please my parents? They deserve to be happy, to see me happy even when I know I’m not ok.

 

Finally, father place my hand on this strange man and in a few seconds, my husband. I took a deep breath as I step closer to him and he smile as he touch my cheeks. What is this feeling I feel? I feel not love, I feel fear. Why do I feel this way? The way he touch my cheek and how he holds my hand – lies, pretend and full of hate. I don’t even know this man, how can I feel this? Why is this feeling coming to me?

 

“Thomas Ashton, will you take Jessica Jefferson-“ and everything started to blur. Is this happening because I disagree? Should I run? I look at my parents, how they weep of joy. I look back at him, slowly close my eyes and hold his hands tighter. There will be no turning back after this, no more sadness, it’s time to move on even how much I don’t want to let go.

 

“Do you Jessica Jefferson, take –“ everything white and blur.

“Say no,” a whisper in my ears – so soft, slowly disappearing.

“Sorry?” I ask- not knowing who to ask.

“Will you take Thomas Ashton as your husband?” The priest repeats.

“Say no Jessie, say no,” that voice so familiar. Could it be? Mile, could it be you?

“Hey Jessie,” Thomas tightly hold my hand as if he would to break it, “answer the question.”

 Looking at his eyes, full of anger and I’m scare, but I have to say it, “ I-“

“No Jessie, say no!” Mile shout near my ear and I look down, holding Thomas hands.

“Jessie, everyone’s waiting,” Thomas say – Impatience and I can see his anger.

“Em.. I do.”

 

The music play, it was time for me and Thomas to dance, but I’m really not good at dancing – I recap the moment I would step on Mile feet during prom and that I don’t think I got better since high school was years back. Thomas held his hand, a sign that he wants to dance. I nod to disagree, he stare me down and he took my hands. No one saw how rude he took me, how he force me, so I just pretend like nothing happened. As we step on the dance floor, I look at Thomas and he smile at everyone there.

 

“I’m not a good dancer, I –“

“Silence and just smile,” he distract me and crush my hand, moving me from side to side.

“You’re hurting me,” I begin to show an expression of pain.

“I said silence and just smile, smile like you’re so touch by how I hold you.” He stroll me away and pull me back, “I have to talk to you, pull me to that tree now.”

“But why?” I ask and step on his feet.

“You-“ He crush my hand, “Just do as I say now,” forcing a smile on his face.

 

I stop dancing and pull him away from the dance floor, while approaching the huge tree I begin to wonder what this man would want from me now. My hand – pain and red – still took hold of his. Facing the other way from the crowd, he push me to the tree – so hard, I almost hit my head and my back scream of pain.

 

“Listen here,” he look away further to the crowd and everyone just dance, as if nothing had happened, “Let’s make it clear, you are my wife but I will never love you, I hate you for as long as I breathe.” He point his figure and push my head to the tree, I shed tear and he just smile.

“Wipe this stupid tear. I marry you only for one reason, which is money and because my father has an internal deed of appreciation towards your father. You’re my second wife-“

“But how is that possible?” I stop him and he slap me.

“I hate when people don’t let me finish talking, let alone a person who is now my wife.”

I weep, all that I can do.

“Oh you want to cry?”

“I want to see my parents,” I cry even more.

 

He look at rage, slam me to the tree and grab my neck, he’s choking me. God, let me die now, please I beg u.

 

“You tell them, I will kill them and make it seem like it was an accident. I’m that good, don’t dare me and don’t try my temper.”

“You’re choking me..” I could hardly speak.

“Good, if you die I will get my money. But not yet, I have something plan for you.”

“Please-“ I choke and he let me go. I cough and cough, breathe heavily.

“If you would cherish your parent’s life, you would do as I say.” He continues talking and walk a distance.

 

Slowly I sit down on the grass – so green, looking at the sky as it begins to slowly turn grey - about to rain, I breathe. God, is this the plan you have written for me? How will I survive this horror? If this is how I will die, being torture to my final breathe, then be it.

More than

Part 1 of Chapter 1

 

It may seem like I would be giving up on my life now, today at this very moment – 2nd December 2013. I have lost almost everyone in my life, I wonder why? Why do people have to die and leave the loves one behind? Why can they go together? Soulmate should not be separate, they should be together – in life and death. It’s like there’s no more reason to live my life. He was so young, at the age of 25 – so innocent, so joyful. He did said his goodbyes as if he knew that his time will end very soon, why the secrecy? Questions remain unanswered, even his parents didn’t had the slight of clue what’s been going on with him.

 

Dear god why? He was the love of my life, the only person who had understand me, who had shown me the world. Now all I see are ashes and I can only feel pain, where have all the love and care gone to? Is this how it feels – losing someone you love? Might this be the end for me as well? Please let it be. Or have you plan something better for me? But it’s so hard to move on, please can someone show me how to take just one step forward because it’s like I can’t even crawl from this dark clouds that cover me.

 

Here next to his grave – Mile Jones, born 1st December 1986 / R.I.P 2nd December 2013, He was a loving son - filled with flower and picture of him smiling – those shiny blue eyes as if he’s looking at me - wind blow and the smell of roses just made me cry even more. As I place the white rose on his grave stone, I could smell the perfume he love to wear everywhere we go. Is he here with me now? Is he watching me cry and suffering? If he is, please know that I can live a moment without you. Why do you have to leave when we had plan so much together in life?

 

How can I describe you? He was a boy full of joy and excitement, he only had one secret and that secret was cancer. He manage to call me just before he was taken away from me, the last word he said to me was, “Keep moving because life is full of wonders and there’s a lot more to see,” – he said it just after he told me how much he love me and he wrote me stories of his best memories. The papers in my hands, how can I even read it? It will just be a painful memory. All of those written are from the moment he knew he can crawl – an innocent baby boy – to a young adult, in love. You inspire me to move, but how can I when I no longer have you around to held my hand to carry me forward..

 

Mother hug me closer to her, I can’t stop sobbing – why did he had to go? She hold me close and pull me up, away from the grave. We were the only ones left, when everyone was already away. Father looking outside the car driver window, he wave as a signal he’s waiting. As we approach the car, I look back at Mile’s gravestone trying my best to say goodbye. My mouth shut, heavy lips, confuse mind, uncertain and broken heart.

 

Inside the car, I still hold the paper (the writings from miles), I slowly weep and there’s only silence inside of the car for a moment. Slowly I recap what happened hours ago..

 

“This was on Mile hand when he was sleeping, it’s got your name Jessie.” Mrs. Jones cried as she gives me the papers and hug me tight.

“Sorry, I took most of his time away from you.” I whispered in her ears.

“No, don’t say that. He always smile everything coming home from being with you.”

“But if I-“ I couldn’t continue talking and instead I cried.

“No Jessie, you were everything to him. He was so happy and a mother will always be happy if her son is happy.” She wipe my tears.

“Darling, let’s go home.” Mr. Jones hold Mrs. Jones back and smiled at me, “Hey Jessie, be strong. Mile would say that to you.”

 

Mrs. Jones hugged me more and we apart ways with a goodbye. Mr. and Mrs. Jones was smiling but deep inside I knew they were hurt. Since Mile has gone some place better, Mr. and Mrs. Jones planned to move away back to Florida, they told me that’s where Mile wanted them to go – back to their hometown. The only reason they stayed longer here is because Mile didn’t want to be apart from me. God that brings tear to my eyes, how can I go on?

Goodmorning, well it is here where I am - Good evening I would say to where ever the sky is dark and shiny - like a burning charcoal.

 

So I receive 1 comment here in SM and its great, amazing I would say. I appreciate even just one person who did enjoy my writing, even tho my english is terrible and here I laugh of joy for the people who support me because you all are a dream saver.

 

I did say I will start with chapter 1, but I had the feeling that I should continue first part 5 of chapter 2 since I didnt complete it much. So I will post it soon in another entry title "More than - Part 5 of Chapter 2 (continue)"

 

And so yea, thank you for reading and thank you for supporting me - if you are than thats super awesome.

 

Bye and much love.

Standing infront of the mirror, I comb my hair – it’s a big mess, I sigh. He hold me from behind and move slowly to hugging me so tightly.

 

“No matter what you see in the mirror, you will always look like an angel to me.” He whisper to my ears.

 

Love – this is what I feel being close to him like a promise and certainty that this relationship will last more than forever. How he breathes – soft and patience – yes he is, being patience with everything that has turned this relationship upside down and still is. God, to you I pray, bless our relationship as you’ve lead us to a path where we met and fallen in love, to you we pray.

 

Looking more to the mirror, his eyes – look how they shine, look how it says a lot even when his mouth is shut close. So deep, so power – it can make you feel the love inside, it’s so clear dear god. I am no angel, thus, look at him – smiling, breathing and those eyes just catch your breath away – I’m a sinner, liar, destroyer and yet he is here closer, an angel he is and that is the truth.

 

Going down the stair, out the door and into my car, I scroll the window down. Just for a few moments and I be gone to place where suffer, pain awaits me, a place where he’s not there.

 

“I have to go,”

 

“Do you have to, you know you can –“

 

“Stay? You know how much I want to.”

 

“I do and I understand.”

 

“This heart beats only for this heart –“ hold his chest, rubbing it with my palm hand, “even if my heart or your heart one day will never beat anymore, I will still be the one who love you and never let you go.”

 

“And here, I will always wait.”

 

So he kiss me, rubbing his hands on my cheeks, god if only one knows how to describe the feeling of how love can make just any pain go away easily.

 

“Don’t forget your medicine, you look more pale every day I see you.”

 

“I will, always.”

 

“Yes, more than always for me.” He smile and giggle – like an innocent boy, his laughter play in my ears.

 

As I slowly reverse my car, our hands still holds – this is what always happens every time. Our hands are like glue together and it won’t melt the glue away – childish as it may sound but that’s the honest truth. Every step we part, its so hard to let go because we don’t want to let go. God, if I can only stay because I would.

I know this is suppose to be a journal, but I can write just about anything I want in them, it is mine. Sounds greeded, but I like to share whats in my head and sometimes talking doesn't help much because I can't arrange the sentences properly, mostly and I people always say my english is not that good, especially my grammar. But even the greatest author in the world had help.

 

A lot of you will wonder, why did I jump to Part 5 of Chapter 2 when I didn't even post Chapter 1? Well just bare with me, if this is really good and you all want me to start from Chapter 1, let me know. Tho, may I just apologize in advance if my spellings is wrong and my grammar or whatever is wrong. Hope you all enjoy.

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Chapter 2 (Part 5) - Alone with him

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It was quiet outside, the wind blow in like the sound of someone woo-ing, but it's not even night and the light from the sun just peek into the curtains of his window. I can hear him breathing as I lay my head on his chest, I can hear how his blood flow as he takes his breathe and the sound of his heart beats never stop to amaze me. I always have hard times sleeping because I'm traumatize on how one day I might not wake up with him beside me.

 

Playing with his fingertips, slowly I move my hand toward his cheeks - soft - He woke up as I continue rubbing my hands on his cheeks - slowly & softly - He smiles, he blush everytime I do it to him. His eyes, the way he looks into mine just moves me and freeze me. The only man who I love, who's the only one able to make me feel like I'm filled, complete and love.

 

As we keep staring in each others eyes, everything seems to disappear like the world was just behind us, leaving only me and him together in this small room.  We begin to hold hands, we begin to wonder, we begin to breathe together and we slowly move to kiss each other. How can one explain how it feels when kissing? Well, how can one explain being kiss by their soulmate? Unexplain and I let it be, we just let the feelings go on as we kiss and hold each other hands.

 

The phone ring and the sound of the clock begin to be heard, we both know its time to go - go on our separate ways - different path, different directions - back to reality. Even we spend just a few hours together, but it seems like we spend more than months together in this room. This feeling we have, we could not let it go. It really is true love. But then, we have to go. What we hope and wish is to be back together again - only prayers and faith can decide as we already tried and yet we will always try.

 

"Is it alright my love, to just stay for a few more hours? Make excuse, say anything, say you will stay."

"I wish I can my heart, but what can I say to them. We will meet again, have faith because I will never stop trying."

"I will wait." He sheds a tear.

 

Only god knows the feeling we have for each other - true and pure - yet we are apart. The tear that he shed, will always imprint in my heart and mind as how he said his love, how he touch and kiss my lips. Let me be strong again to carry and move forward with another uncountable few hours, days, weeks, months without seeing him.

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End of part 5

I know this is suppose to be a journal, but I can write just about anything I want in them, it is mine. Sounds greeded, but I like to share whats in my head and sometimes talking doesn't help much because I can't arrange the sentences properly, mostly and I people always say my english is not that good, especially my grammar. But even the greatest author in the world had help.

 

A lot of you will wonder, why did I jump to Part 5 of Chapter 2 when I didn't even post Chapter 1? Well just bare with me, if this is really good and you all want me to start from Chapter 1, let me know. Tho, may I just apologize in advance if my spellings is wrong and my grammar or whatever is wrong. Hope you all enjoy.

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Chapter 2 (Part 5) - Alone with him

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It was quiet outside, the wind blow in like the sound of someone woo-ing, but it's not even night and the light from the sun just peek into the curtains of his window. I can hear him breathing as I lay my head on his chest, I can hear how his blood flow as he takes his breathe and the sound of his heart beats never stop to amaze me. I always have hard times sleeping because I'm traumatize on how one day I might not wake up with him beside me.

 

Playing with his fingertips, slowly I move my hand toward his cheeks - soft - He woke up as I continue rubbing my hands on his cheeks - slowly & softly - He smiles, he blush everytime I do it to him. His eyes, the way he looks into mine just moves me and freeze me. The only man who I love, who's the only one able to make me feel like I'm filled, complete and love.

 

As we keep staring in each others eyes, everything seems to disappear like the world was just behind us, leaving only me and him together in this small room.  We begin to hold hands, we begin to wonder, we begin to breathe together and we slowly move to kiss each other. How can one explain how it feels when kissing? Well, how can one explain being kiss by their soulmate? Unexplain and I let it be, we just let the feelings go on as we kiss and hold each other hands.

 

The phone ring and the sound of the clock begin to be heard, we both know its time to go - go on our separate ways - different path, different directions - back to reality. Even we spend just a few hours together, but it seems like we spend more than months together in this room. This feeling we have, we could not let it go. It really is true love. But then, we have to go. What we hope and wish is to be back together again - only prayers and faith can decide as we already tried and yet we will always try.

 

"Is it alright my love, to just stay for a few more hours? Make excuse, say anything, say you will stay."

"I wish I can my heart, but what can I say to them. We will meet again, have faith because I will never stop trying."

"I will wait." He sheds a tear.

 

Only god knows the feeling we have for each other - true and pure - yet we are apart. The tear that he shed, will always imprint in my heart and mind as how he said his love, how he touch and kiss my lips. Let me be strong again to carry and move forward with another uncountable few hours, days, weeks, months without seeing him.

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End of part 5