I don't regret what I say to you. You are owed honesty. And I am owed my say after all I've been through with you. People who don't care either walk away or remain silent. People who care stand up to those they care about and say the difficult stuff. I'm sorry I get angry (very angry) with you at times, but it is in reaction to your big mouth. And, no, I am not excusing my bad behavior which I must own. But what do you own? Don't give me the "you don't walk in my shoes" crap 'cause I've darn well walked beside them and also felt the pain associated with them. And I have cried many a time out of worry for you. My life ain't pretty right now and it's a gamble on whether or not it will ever be pretty again so do not lump me in the ‘perfect life” category. And please don't excuse the risks you won't take for yourself and your quality of life by saying nobody has to live your life. I don't. They don't. But that doesn't mean people don't understand; care; and want more for you even if you chose to settle so long ago. When someone has your level of intelligence s/he is less likely to want more; rather; s/he will find ways to get around it yet still have a tolerable life. Is that what you want? Tolerable. You mark your days and nights on a calendar that you recycle year after year. When did you give up on you? When did you tell yourself it was something different…when did you convince yourself that you were living life to the fullest? Hurt you…perhaps, but that’s not my intent. When I’m angry I lash out, but I’m not angry now. I am resigned to what is to come…the goodbye. I just refuse to go without getting everything off my chest. And, yes, at times it may include anger. You of all people should understand anger. You of all people should understand how I sometimes react so hostile toward what you say and do. You should, but you don't, possess any empathy toward me or others.