that whole "maybe he will be like an angel that God sent to me finally. we shall see" definitely not. he tried he did. i think i was too much for him. which just leads me to believe that nobody can handle me and it's kinda hopeless. so if Godly folks wont help me. ill still have my OWN relationship with Him. however...church and all that shit. so many people have led me to a point where going to church is almost corrupted in a way. that doesn't make sense to some people. but to others. they understand how twisted words and beliefs can get in a big group of people. i have to find "God" for myself