It's looking more and more like 3 people writing almost all of the boring journal posts here at Song Meanings under a variety of pseudonyms. 

However I, Nomad Monad, DEMAND recognition as The Most Boring Writer.

You'll never touch me so don't even TRY.

Don't even bother dipping your quill again, you mere drip on the mildewed scroll of antediluvian parchment, you cuneiform Cunégonde, you proto-Canaanite pottery fragment, you keyboarding failed clown and archeological relic unworthy of preservation in a third-rate underfunded Albanian museum... 

I, and I alone, dragged myself up from the protoplasmic slime to BORE you. 
I transitioned from amphibian to anthropoid before your mama even MET the postman. I stood upright upon the bloody battleground of evolutionary struggle and SELECTED MYSELF (naturally). Now pass that banana right here. 

                                           Behold: The Missing Link