and they are looking for two more bombs in Oslo, Norway! Crazy, crazy... They should stop bombing everywhere, not only Norway ofc. Even in Stockholm there is a stand-by force (is that the word I'm looking for??), if they should bomb our capital aswell. Well I dunno, Norway has a lot of oil and stuff maybe that is why.. Good thing though our friends in Oslo are safe and sound. Well my thoughts this night goes to everyone that died and got hurt..

I've only had one cup of coffee today. I usually have at least two. Is it too late for coffee now? Maybe I should eat dinner first. But I don't want dinner, I rather have some candy. And coffee. Painkillers for my aching head, I could eat painkillers for dinner. Some codein please, iburprofen and paracetamol, without yooou I'm feeling blueee lalal.. Medication makes me able to let things go, that is a relief for sure. Motivation-level is still below zero, social status: avoiding people. Except sometimes, just for a few hours. Not counting boyfriend, he is around most of the time, and I love it. I don't mind not having a lot of people around me. I usually feel like an outsider anyway. But I don't think I have to change medication really, other factors makes me not motivated, like being unemployed, and not knowing shit about the future. I hope me and my boyfriend gets to New Zealand, that would be something... If the pills trying to kill my creativity I'll definitly change to something else. Otherwise I'll be halfdead, hanging on a thin thread. And you know, going on for months and months without having anything to do, slowly puts you in a state of mind where you don't really want to do anything. Autumn sweet, dark and cold autumn don't paint my mind black, I don't want to go back. Head above the surface! At least the nose. Anybody out there reading this? Fun to write in english, been a long time... Hope it is not too bad.

NOW I'm going to lay down in the couch, with my new book "Room" by Emma Donoghues... Seemes too be a good book. I was reading a book of Antonio R. Damasio about the brain, consciousness, emotions and the interaction of reason and emotion... But even though it is interesting I felt I need a good fictional story to dive into. Tea is ready! Ciao

(lack of tea) Hot milk with maple syrup, and a tiny bit of vanillapowder.. mmmmmm :-)

You should really take time to listen to this cover from Patti Smith, it is awesome, and so is she. Here she is 61 years old, rocking the shit out of any new 'musicians' today (what the hell happend with music?)>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kn7voloX6JI&feature=autoshare

This and "artists" like Akon or whatever the hell they call themselves is like two different worlds, or even dimensions! Lightyears between them. Beyoncé don't appriciate when people comment on her looks, because that is not what matters, (read this in an article and they also wrote that she is smart and as we can see very succesfull) but how do she think people will notice anything else when she is running around with a bikini or a scarfs as a skirt? I am not saying everyone should dress in a polo-shirt and jeans, but you know, perhaps try to find a balance? See if all these artists sell as much as they do with a little more clothes on. And not only the clothes or lack of them. But the music, the lyrics!! Very much of today's music all sounds the same. Nothing is deep anymore, nothing is poetic or well-written. Am I wrong? And I am also not saying every song must be deep and have important message, but even the partysongs in the 80's had better lyrics, and people seemes to have the gutts to do their thing than just go with the flow. Have you heard Pop that pussy with Lil'Jon?
It goes something like this:
Bend over, won't you pop that pussy for me
Pop that pussy and shake that ass
Big old booty, now make it bounce
Pop that pussy, let it all hang out

Well, not all songs are as horrible as this is. But... REALLY? IS THIS YOUR MESSAGE TO THE WORLD? Hope he doesn't have kids.... "Hey, listen to my daddys new song!" ......

Hm.. I didn't really plan all this. I thought posting the song with Patti Smith, then perhaps tell you (whoever reads this) how boring my day have been. I can tell you some of that too. I've been looking for a job, like I do every day, and again with no luck. I've sew my pants that were slightly too big. And the highpoint of the day I guess, is the dinner me and my boyfriend ate today. Homemade tomatoesauce, with pasta and bread. Very good indeed. Hrm.. But when I think about it, I think my boyfriends finding of Patti Smiths cover is the highpoint of today...

OKAY!! enough now. Long time ago I wrote, so my fingers are burning, my mind too. But my eyes are tired and I could kill for a cup of tea. A job and to live in another country too. ENOUGH. buona notte.