I keep feeling like I don’t know- a universal dislike. Maybe it’s me… or maybe it’s my lack of changing sensory, but I’m feeling rather… hmmm… I don’t know. I think what shoved the thought in my head rather hard was the fact that when Laurin and David took off and I had lunch by myself… I’m pretty sure that is what put all of this in my mind. I’m feeling like half the people I talk to and use to be good friends with just… I’m not sure how to put it. An example…? Well… the one that’s getting to me is Johnny. I heart him and everything but I just haven’t been seeing him since Summer- you know? Well… minus Halloween. I don’t even really talk to him- or hardly. Except when he wants to borrow some movies, which I really don’t mind, he drove me all over this summer and I’m happy to lend them out to him… but maybe it’s just me... maybe I'm just feel abandoned by people and connecting it to Johnny for reasons unknown to myself. I hate not going out, I use to go out at least occasionally now all my weekends are home it feels like… I hardly see or even speak with Faith. So what the fuck is that? Sometimes at lunch it feels like Dani purposefully practically ignores me… but perhaps that’s my imagination. This sudden (or not) wave of self-consciousness has come over me in a tide wave. The way I fought it? I dyed my hair into a rainbow. It’s purple and blue - turquoise in my bangs, and pink with turquoise in the tips all over. I find it beautiful, but that could be me. It makes me feel better going drastic things… and changing my room like I did last year didn’t seem like a good option. I’ll eventually have to post pictures, and since my concentration (theme) in AP Art will be myself (self portraits)… I’ll have quite a few. And on that semi-good note… and now that I feel I’ve gotten a bit of weight off my shoulders… I’m going to call it a night. At 5:00.

DumdeDum...