or inanity, whatever

i promised myself i wouldn't do this anymore

sorry.

initiated by request
extended as a courtesy
to one who would not give to me
the same consideration

maybe up and running now
but i am out of practice
my signal flickers weakly
damped by inebriation

amplify, relay

reattempt the broadcast
swamped by noise and static
i wonder if it's breaking through
(exhausted desperation)

opiate-lazy, drugged sluggishly
body doesn't move, mind isn't free
lost the key to that realm
forgot the way in
drowning in sugar and too much gin

orpheus trumps morpheus
the beacon awakens
the body remembers
the mind become frail needs training
 


but i think i can remember if i
listen for the signals

destitute of spirit

waveforms raining

you'd erased our history
nowhere could i find it
didn't think i'd mind it
but now i can't recall our memories

collect impressions, time, and date
for divination of our fate
details keep me sane
but cloudy distancing obscures
the memory of feverpitch
and no signposts remain

correspondence ghosts
with no trace of the respondent
i'm despondent

if i'd known you'd sever that tie
i would have saved all of that too
a Talking Book of me and you
safely in my head
never read
by prying, jealous eyes

(still enticed by how you scream
pierce me with each cry
i presume you speak to me
i don't always know why)