Rivers and roads
Oh rivers and roads
Oh rivers 'til I reach you

The Head & The Heart - Rivers and Roads

It is always a good thing to tell someone you love them, because you never know when it will be the last time you see them. You don't know when they will be gone.

I just came back tonight, well, over an hour or so ago, from a beautiful celebration of my uncle's life. He died unexpectedly last Thursday. I have always been aware especially the last few years that anyone at any moment could be gone, but I am reminded even moreso at the sudden, shocking passing of my uncle.

I was closer to him than both of my blood related uncles. I have fond inspirational memories of him. He was quite the character and was never afraid to be himself. He was not afraid to be different. Tonight reminded me of that because a few of his loved ones pointed that out. It was wonderful to share the stories and watch the slideshow his daughters (my cousins) put together comprised of photos of his life put to the sound of some of his favourite songs.

We had enough in common...a love for music, guitars, heavy metal music, collecting gadgets & neat stuff. He inspired & drove me to pursue music & keep up the guitar playing. I am even more inspired & motivated now to carry it on, and even moreso, his daughters said the same. I am so happy about that because it seemed like they placed it on the shelf and lost some of the passion for it.. as I have. My uncle was known as a junk collector--someone who always saw the potential in what others discarded. & that is how he treated people..he was kind and compassionate and saw the good in people and the potential in people.

I could go on but those are some things I wanted to share about my uncle that I carry with me & that others have carried on with them as a remembrance of him.

Love you Uncle Tom

been wanting to talk for a long, long time.

You are here because you are looking for something.

I wonder if it could ever be sorted out. I hoped so much but after all this time nothing has been. I still don't know that much. Learned a few important things but it has not been resolved. You can't know what you don't know. One can only use their imagination & trust their gut feelings.

You can't know what you don't know.

I hope you know what its like to die everyday. I hope you die every day. If you're who you told me you were, no, you don't know what its like. Pathetic. You don't know what its like. Unless you are like me. Are you?