I'm feeling really lonely for some reason. And I feel like I do it to myself, like I don't even want to do anything at all. I think that tomorrow, I'm going to take a day off. From everyone, I don't really want to see anyone. I want to go under my bed and listen to music and stay there for a whole 24 hours. I think this is my attempt to just relax my body before I go to the cardiologist. I don't want him to put an IV and shove a straw into my vein. Because I cry, and I'm too old for crying. Larine

I just don't know what to think anymore. Why do I always have to have a problem with people, especially in relationships? It's so frustrating, but why is it so confusing. I've been trying so hard with him, and I really do care for him. I guess I got jealous when I saw a picture of him and his ex. I don't know why, there is a reason he isn't with her, and he is with me. And I see that she is a real bitch...I mean, at least I think so. But right now everything is fucking confusing and as each second goes by I get more pissed. I hate going to sleep like this. Larine.

I deleted all my entries again because they were no good. Things are getting really hard now. I kind of like having this journal, it's my own private writing space, where no one who knows me can find. I'll actually start writing tomorrow. Larine.

Okay, I used to be RingsInMyPocket. But somehow my journal stopped working, and I couldn't post anymore. But I finally made this account so I can keep my journal again. Because I know some people missed me! Haha, just kidding. Larine(: