Fallen to your knees You cry out Broken and unwanted Just another token of death. Should you pay up? Sell your soul You think it's worth more than your life. Covered in mud Stench of a rotting corpse On your knees Crying out Broken and unwanted.

Feel the chill of shadows on my skin Yet the fires of hell consume my inside The sunshine just inches away Taunting me with it's warming welcome. Trapped in darkness unable to escape the mist. Unfortunate bondage to others, not mutual. Broken bonds unhealed and still bleeding. So I sit alone in the shadows, numb, Staring at the distant light. Jealousy of those who walk through it Anger toward those who don't realize What they have is what I need. I thirst, I hunger for one simple thing, One that is warm and not harming. Love.

Last day of school. We always play ultimate in the park and I get so freakin sunburned!! It feels so good =D cuz it means winter is over and it won't snow again until I start to miss it haha. Hope the world has a great summer. I know I will...super freakin busy. Camp for five weeks, Bristol, Rhode Island for a week, another week of camp after that, then band camp for a week, then school starts up again. Plus, three babies and a wedding (no those don't tie together). Fun shtuff.

I miss how life used to be. Before Tim existed, before I'd gone crazy, people would actually talk to me. There was a group of people the I would hand out with just like any typical teenager. It's easy to understand why they now avoided me with caution. I'm unlucky and accident prone, or you could just say that I'm haunted. True, Tim is a haunting, but I guess I just have to live with it. The creation of Tim happened four years ago at my friends house. I was invited to spend the night at her house. It was the perfect night for telling ghost stories, for the wind whipped the hail into the windows and lightening thrashed through the midnight sky. After the stories were told, we decided to fall asleep. It was 2:07am when the crash outside woke me to a start. The flash of the headlights poured through the window and on our faces. I woke up my friends parents and we all went outside. A white ford pick-up was laying in it's top in the ditch across the road. The fence was completely demolished and the horses ran free. A woman crawled out of the windshield, holding a small bow while blood dripped from her forehead. We called 911 while in the background I heard her crying the boys name. "Timmy!" She screamed, shaking his limp body. "Timmy come back!" We were sent back inside the house. Through the window I could see the paramedics doing there best to heal the boy. I could hear the woman's screams through the cracked-open door. It was hard to tell if she was screaming from the glass being pulled from her skin or from the blue sheet being pulled over the boy's body. The drizzling rain made the moment all the more dreary.

You know, if he wouldn't have done it, I probably would have. But now seeing the effects it has on the family...when is it ever worth it? Now that I understand it more clearly, suicide is the most selfish thing a human being could do. But I know it wasn't him that pulled the trigger. It was the drugs. Granted, the drugs were his choice, but I like to think that it wasn't him that held the gun to his fathers head. And now my other cousin is making the same mistake. He told us all that the next time he ODs on meth, it will be the last. I'm just waiting for a phone call to say that he's gone too...It's not their fault. I blame the drugs. Sarah McLachlan's Angel is their song. I really hope that he is in a better place now...The bottom line is, drugs are really stupid. My advice to you all is don't even start using. The ending is never good.

Crusting around your wounds, your blood spills freely. Staining the lives around you revealing your secrets. You turned the wrong direction and now you're gone. Turning into a stranger as it runs through your veins. The angels cry out in sadness, why? Why did you do it? The hammer pulled back, you pulled the trigger. Tell me, was it worth it? Worth it to take your own life? After threatening his, you turned the barrel. I wonder if our mourning reaches you Wherever you may be now...