you know what makes me want to cry? when my brother adds his music to my last.fm library. everyone finds his musical taste better but i dont want to look like this so i spend 2 hours cleaning the library, track per track everyday, when this is all my fault. i have drum classes today. i have been having them for a whole year now and i still know nothing, it's pretty awkward for me and for the teacher to be teaching the same thing and getting no response. i won't quit cause i like it, but i don't have a drumset so there's no point. i love forums and online communities like this but i'm always the outsider and i'm the one who tries really hard. it's awkward and you even get to be a little awkward even if it's just online. i don't know why i act so stupid but i can't change it. i hope paul rudd doesn't hate me if we meet someday cause he's one of the nicest guys alive.

marijuana leaves look like fresh mallow gum. i'll grow my hair out this year. i mean, i wont have 15 inch long hair but i'll stop being so bold. i'm keeping a picture journal, started yesterday, looks bad, recycled it by myself, i glued a drawing of a butterfly as the first entry. by picture journal i mean i will glue a new picture everyday, at least i'll try. i'm thinking of what to eat tonight. i'd like tofu sandwiches with tomato sauce and whole wheat bread, which wouldn't give me so much fat but the condensed soymilk is gonna look green by tomorrow if i don't use it tonight. so i'll make some hot chocolate yeahhhhh SADTOBEFATSADTOBEFATSADTOBEFATSADTOBEFAT i like how this sounds