Wow they really do change. one best friend moved back from alaska, another moved to another city, and one is moving at the end of the summer. Not to mention im going to get married to a girl. not straight anymore am i? oh well... she loves me :). my mom hates it though. she pretty much came out and said that she hates me now because of how i am. i dont care though. were going to move far away. well... once shes done with college and im done with high school... but its not as bad as it seems... shes only 3 years older than me so its not too big an age difference. plus shes like my lil five year old lol. at least thats what she acts like. she says im her two year old but tells me all the time that im more mature than her lol. hmmmm... how can i describe her?? something else thats for sure. shes really sweet... and a hopeless romantic. shes a beautiful 19 year old with family issues just like me... she even admits that our problems are really similar... so we can help each other a lot... shes says mine are worse but i dont think so... at least she worries about me... mom cant know about our relationship... but i just wanna scream it to the world... cant wait to move away with her....

why is it that i can love someone who is miles and miles away... a state away in fact... and he love me but him make me want to commit myself into a mental ward... when he says he loves me my heart wants to burst.... when he says im beautiful he makes my tummy go all tingly... and when he does all his weird things it makes my head go fuzzy.... but when he starts to ignore me and talk to his ex... well.... it just plain hurts... there are no good feelings at all.... i guess its not exactly ignoring but it still hurts.... wish he could just move here so that i could kiss him like i promised i would when we saw each other again.... i guess he makes my lips hurt too because they really just want to be on his more than they want to say all of this.... now that ive typed it i dont know what to do... as my favorite radicalist once said... "I allot two hours out of the twenty four to sleep"... the rest are filled with my pathetic thoughts of him that make me miss him more.... so... i guess ill just go to bed... goodnight love...