I'm making a conscious decision to stock-pile my home necessities before December 1st of next year pokes it's fat, capitalistic head out - and devours every ounce of humanity left in me. It seems that I'm the only one that LOATHES the holiday season in my family. Even my husband likes to partake in the madness. I thought I had picked a good one, too. Baaaha! Between trying to grocery shop, having to deal with 4 different sets of in-law "get-togethers", and the amount of crap that was given to my 20 month old son... I've decided that the holidays are a load of bullshit that I don't need. Maybe I'm just jealous that I hadn't thought of an ingenious scheme to instigate compulsive buying in the masses. On second thought, I think I'm going to dress up as a homeless chick and sit outside of one of these "fine" establishments of spending. I'll use the money earned to buy t-shirts that read, "The Christmas Spirit is a Money-Grubbing Whore," and hand them out for free. The irony would make me all warm and fuzzy on the inside... I know you want to say it, so do it. Negative Nancy. Debbie Downer. Scrooge. Sexy. Wait, what? Nevermind.

The plan was flawless, genius, and all...mine Did you honestly not know what was in store for our lives? We're all so foolishly, selfishly playing the victim. Playing our victims. But "fate" is in my hands, as it's been this entire time. ...Have you lost your fucking mind? So say goodnight, restless eyes. Sad to say I could see this coming. Your whirlwind of brilliant color, now evanesced into obscurity. You wouldn't have forgiven me, had I told you everything. Forcing myself into a story that clearly wasn't mine. ...Have I lost my fucking mind? Prententious to say I know what you go through. A little jealous that it chose you. And if I hadn't seen your expressionless face, this wouldn't be real in the first place. ...Have we lost our fucking minds? ...Have we created factitious souls? ...Do we inhale each others' lives in our own black holes?