I am laughably pathetic. Keeping a chat open with a girl I find adorable only to see if she starts to type to me. I'm laughing at myself.

She is adorable and would rather watch Lord of the Rings than go out. I must know her more.

I really need to stop being so anxious over things that couldn't matter less. It's so draining. Welp, I've been down for the past week or so for some reason but I now realize how pointless it was. So, so pointless. I've got my whole life to look forward to. So what if my anxiousness and tendency for depression is genetic. I control my moods. I am going to be happy. I am happy happy. People continuously talk shit? Take it stride. Evaluate and move on. No point in dwelling. Move on and move up. Be positive. Be strong. Be happy. Be alive. It's the perfect time to live and love today. Smile.

I dreamt that we fucked again the other night and it made me miss you. I don't know how I feel toward you but I do know I'm lonely. I do miss our connection but not our relationship. We worked well at the beginning but toward the end it was just awful. I am really lonely but I'm scared of settling. No real opportunities have presented themselves and I'm finding that I'm sleeping a lot less and keeping to myself a lot more. I hope this passes. I'm tired. I am really, really tired. Tired of not sleeping. Tired of sleeping alone. Tired of feeling... indifferent. Numb. Welcome back, old friend. It's been a while.