Well, just remember you're the master of your own universe. The one thing in this world you get to control is the way you feel, so treasure it. Don't give in. You're as strong as you want to be. If you find yourself going down a path in your mind that's harmful, decide to turn around. That's exactly what I said I remember every word and how strange it was too, having words like that to give me,playing at experienced for once not the injured party, desperately begging i have never ended a conversation so close to totally satisfied most of your words reveal so little about who you are they are over thought, contrived, sentences structures pre audited in your brain but every now and then you get a spark of raw genuis, pure qualia, that speaks volumes that says what you stand for, what you care about what do you care about? it took me years to figure out how much this simple question even mattered how it becomes everything to define you, keep your fingers typing when you come home from a coke binge instead of watching tv the tears in your eyes at the perfect lyric, the chord struck exactly to resonate with your heart strings, the pulls of every lost lover and friend the memories you cross over too frequently,even while you are alive and present in knowing that you were here and a part of this period of time, this music revolution in blacklights and neon with combat boots, running with girls who call them selves pirate and are anything but scared it took 20 years, but now i see happy doesn't come right out and announce itself, poke you in the rib cage you have to search for it it hides in the corners of your eyelids, just out of vison so you have to really focus really sit and find it, let your experiences speak for themselves once upon a time, i told myself that the definition meant facing yourself in a mirror, catching your eyes off guard so you almost look like someone else then you repeat the words "I am living the life of my dreams and this is exactly what I've always wanted' and you'll know they'lleither ring true, move you to tears, make your heart expand inside your chest as it gives love and food to every mistake and regreat and leap of faith and decision it took you to get just where you're standing no more no less exactly in your space and if it isn't true, that's ok too just keep searching find out what you care about, and i mean really care in the most lasting pervasive kind of way the dream will come and it will show you all of the vibes and energies you never noticed before breathe deeply feed into them and eventually, your wish will be granted

And so tomorrow I'm sleeping with my television on I understand the fear of all that silence all the space above your bed transforms into a darkness that might as well be made of iron, you just feel so closed in and then there's all the inner noise your voice inside your head, saying all the words your mouth couldn't form all the fears from your day you tried to graze over all the echoes, all the shadows, all the sad songs on the radio thoughts that have an extra energy, a special jolt in the way they invade no matter how tired you are, closed eyes are the best you can do restless body, tossing, thrashing sheets and comforters being no comfort at all you need skin, human contact you need it to reassure you you are still awake that there is a distinction between this and the fantasy of dreaming can your reality be a nightmare? or would that imply it's something passing, over in a matter of minutes if he were here i wouldn't be so unsure if i had a whisper in my air, stubble scratching my lips then I'm sure I'd know the difference

keep the blood in your head and your feet on the ground it's all about momentum don't look at the clock, there are no more hours we have until infinity I danced and danced, energy enveloping everyone's bodies warping together hands arms legs, doesn't matter pupils dilated, smiles burning bright like laser lights flashing over sweaty skin, tingling vibration blind with eyes wide open in thick white smoke my own private island, exploding with sound i couldn't help but smile when he took my hands he was feeding me electricity bitter chemicals washed down with a fire a laugh a kiss sex on the dance floor we were young and free and filled with a fantasy two feet away from the world's most famous most of all, i recall our connection unspoken, unquantified, a nameless entity dangerous grounds a girl holding a heart that doesn't belong to her should never be so reckless i let myself fall in lust here he was, crafting a force field Brian always wanted to talk about it he never asked me for anything i can't help wondering how much I made up how much was the shimmer and shine of a bliss tinted universe? and how much was reality? do you believe in trusting strangers? in hoping with time they will become your friends? i had a hunch that keeps replaying we ran in the rain the water froze my bones just see what happens let the truth find itself