Dear, Person that is Reading Translation: "No, No te preocupes por mi aqui todo sigue igual como cuando estabas tu"- No, don't worry about me everythings the same just like when you were here. "Si, es cierto que no hay calor n en la cas y el olor de tu cuerpo sinigual"- Yes, it's true it is no longer warm in the house and neither the smell of your body. "Ya, Ya la fuente se seco el canrio ya murio pero aqui no hay novedad"-There, the fountain has dried, the canary has died but there is nothing new here. "No, no te preocupes por mi aqui todo sigue igual como cuando estabas tu"- No, dont worry about me everything is the same here just like when you were here. "Quisiera que me hicieras muncha falta y gritatre que regreses pero aqui no hay novedad"- I wish that I needed you so to yell for you to come back, but there is nothing new here. 'No, no te preocupes por mi aqui todo sigue igual como cuando estabas tu" - No, Don't Worry About Me Everything Is the Same Just Like When You Were Here. Love Sincerely, Lonely Girl

Dear, You I hide behind my smile.no one knows how i really am. but i know i am not that convincing. i wish someone would care enough to ask. care enough to find out.i feel so alone..i have no real friends...im..solitaire..i feel so empty so hollow.when will i feel good?whole? why am i falling to peices. falling apart....barly breathing.and my hearts barely beating....does anyone love me? no one tells me. why doesnt anyone love me? am i that disgusting of a person that not one person can love me? it ....hurts..it really does. "People say I'm the life of the party 'cause i tell a joke or two"-a smile here a smile there a small laugh "Although i might be laughin loud and hearty..deep inside i'm Blue"-i'ts all an act. i hide behind my lauughs and smiles. i may seem so jolly olly but...if you really knew me you'd know im effed in the head. "So take a good look at my face"-really look at me "You'll see my smile looks out of place"-it doesnt reach my eyes "If you look closer it's easy to trace the tracks of my tears"-if you only knew ..what a sad lonely pathetic person i am. "i need you,need you,need you"-i need someone! i need a friend.thats it.all i really need and want is a friend. someone to care. i know i aint nothing .but someone to listen and be there so i dont feel so Alone. So...take a good look at my face =| youll see infact my smile looks out of place..its my make up, to hide what im rreally feeling. Look closer and you can trace the tracks of my tears. :""( Sincerly, Lonely Girl

Dear "Whoever Decides To Read This"

Is there really a thin line between love and hate? i really want to hate you...but why cant i? what stops me from hating your guts?does love..can love dominate? ugh! why is everythin so...complicated? and to add salt to my wound. No one knows i feel this way!but i suppose its my fault...but i cant b open ..not with you or annyone else i know. i dont rlly trust aanyone. i guess i should thank the Many Frenemies i have. i hate havin fake friends....why do i have em?...well because i dont have the balls to tell them to Go to hell.im too nice to the point im pathetic. im a ggood example of a loser...a low life, no life. im so pathetic im writing here.but its the only release i get.im not much for expressing feelings *cringe* but i have to let em out someway right?

Sincerely,
Lonely Girl P.S "When you try your best but you dont succed"-yup im a faliure. "When you get what you want but not what you Need"-i dont need materialistic things I Need You. "When you feel so tired but you can sleep"- Thhans for giving me these Oh So Attractive Dark Circles. "Stuck in reverse"-yup i cant move Forward "And the tears come streaming down your face"-i lay locked in the bathroom crying silently... "When you loose something you cant replace"-your Irreplacable..how long would it take to find another you? needle in a hay stack man. "When you love someone but it goes to waste"-My love is useless to you and you proved to me i mean nothing to you. "Could it be worse?"-mmmm..can it?

Change. I didnt want it to be this way.but it changed. I changed you didnt. i am someone i dont recognize anymore im not the same . Why is it like this. im different then how i was i feel like a stranger. Lost in translation..do i speak my own language? it's like no one understands me. And its not your fault. I can't even blame you. It is I to blame..because i allowed this change i let you change me i let you mold me into someone else and im a fool..a stupid fool. But now im a lost stupid fool. and you? Your the same..out there enjoying life and your sickening riches.Your living to the fullest. And Me? im here in a room sitting, sitting and thinking wondering why you did it? why you hurt me,why you dont care. I cant be heard..my cries are a silent sound. and you just left me here scarred ..just wishing, waiting to be found. But it's as if I make no sound. and It's not your fault. Its mine.

did my favorite thing today!!.....absolutley Nothing! lol sspent all day home watchingg movies. saw p.s i love you (gerard so hot) then aftr that 'lying to perfection' on lifetime. lastly why did i get married lol cnt get enough of it. yup thats my oh so exciting day. its 2am im an insomniac i cnt sleep for shiz n it suks monkey butts. just chillian like a villain lookin at my ceiling listenin to my ipod. bored like a Mofo. tomorrow? or today? gonna do notin. not like my so cal friends remeber me. im a best friend like no othr. im always there for them always givin advice (ha yeah am i even in place to give any..right state of mind?) anyway they come to me for help blah blah i listen to their cries im da shoulder. but yo where the hell are these cooks when i need them?? when im down and feelingg glum? they aint there! its like im too good of a friend and i get nothing in return not tht i got a problem i like helping as much i can...but jeeze how bout one day callin or textin to see if im good or if im effin alive eh? ....lame me cain mal

i feel...bleh...i feel like there is something missing. but what could it be? i feel incomplete..like a puzzle...listening to talk by coldplay...i just want someone to talk to...i just want someone to listen and not judge me or lecture me. theres an unknowwn void. theres an unknown sadness deep within me...i am nothing. i am lost. i am lookin for a way out. when one door closes a window opens. but what if im in a place where there is no way out? will i ever fill that void? im not sure .

why are you such a dick? why cant you for once be...idk Compassionate!?!? why are you so mean and cruel? we have nothing anymore because you killed it. you ruined our relationship. our relationship iss gone like it never existed...and what pisses me off is that your suh a dick and you dont care! and it pisses me off that it hurts me and it bugs me that gets under my skin that i care. you prick your so heartless i really dont get you why cant you care? ugh when will it go away!? when will i not caring go away??! ugh i despise you with every fiber in my body!! your a heartless and so....so inhumane cruel mean crude and uncaring.....and i hate myself for caring!! i hate myself more...and ...it ...just sucks.

thats what my mom tolld me. hmmm am i bi-polar? i have no idea. what is even being bi-polar? you have abunch of mood swings? cant you just call that pms? or no then i'd always be pmmsing lol but thats what she said that im bi-polar...does that even exist? idk...maybe i am. who knows..oh yeah NOT ME CAUSE I DONT KNOW NADA NO SE QUE FREGADOS ME PASA! Me siento como un verdadero pierdo de tiempo que hare? no se porque un momento estoy bien y luego de arepente I can lash out. o mas bien un momento estoy mas o menos luego empiezo a llorar. . . . soy una retardada hasta me caigo mal yo misma hahahaha

is love just fition? or can it be real. does it actually last or die. i live love through writing stories, my characters reflet me and my life and how i wish it would be, how i wish love was how i would want to expirience it. But at the end of every paragraph at the end of every chapter at the end of every story....it's just a thought in my mind just a daydream, just a wish, just a hope, juat a fantasy. i'm to be the dried up old spinster for in my mind love is magical and great but in my mind im in another world , beacause in reality in the real world love is way omplicated ad im not even quite sure it exists or lasts...so will i be the dried up old spinster who lives romance through her stories. i suppose i shall and while im at it live my pain through my poetry. at the end of the day im no one. ...~c

change from happy to sad. i knew i woulddnt be chipper for long. like the fool i am i fall for it, i fall for your crap. will things ever be the same. how they use to be dad. when you didnt make me feel so bad so sad. when you were my hero. you were my best friend but now its as if it was all pretend. and instead of you it was I that changed. I that became different. break the mold how will i? why cant you say it like you mean it. you say 'i love you' like you say hello. now i sit here melancholy dream so mellow. why is there no meaning behimd those 3 words for me.why do they mean nothing just dead. why did things change.everyone and everything to me now is awful and just...strange. .......~c