I´ve been listening to Saosin and putting some comments in on youtube. I want to feel like I´m apart of something bigger than myself. I know the best way to do that is serve God with all my heart and do his will, but for some reason I have no motivation right now. I know what I have to do is start praying everyday and read my bible and everything else will follow then, but I just haven´t done it. It´s crazy when we know what we have to do, but we just don´t do it. I´ve also just gotten into the new Deftones album and I´m about to listen to each track and study the lyrics. Im excited that Wes, Adam and John are coming on Friday. I thank God that he has given me the opportunity and the gist of making friends easily. Melissa likes me so much and I don´t know what to do because part of me does like her, but its more out of pride and out of a feeling of being liked that anything else and I dont want to hurt her or hermano Martin. We´ll see because I would really like to be with Zairah or Claressa but with Zairah I have to really get motivated and saved to ever have a shot and with Claressa I think I had a really good chance, but I lost it by choosing Christina. Christina has finally messaged me, but I don´t know what I really want from her. I guess in a way it´s just sex because I don´t want to be with her. I just want to know that she likes me and I want sex from her. We´ll see...