So after the last post I went and read some stuff about cutting your own hair, then I watched some videos on youtube about it and then I grew some balls (NOT LITERALLY) and brought myself to cutting it. I didnt use real hair scissors though, just those cheap things from IKEA and a disposable razor but it turned out pretty nice. Its probably the first haircut I've got and actually loved. x

I wanta cut my hair myself but I've never done it before. Actually I've been thinking about it for a while now. I dunno, mum and dad'll kill me if I cut it, but I guess its my hair......

So christmas went all nice and good round our way. I got the really sexy electric guitar I had been hoping for and of course seeing all the family was awesome (even if some was through skype). Besides my brother throwing out the turkey gravy thinking it was just fatty waste - and my dad being so drunk he started singing (or killing songs) really loud at 2am, it was all cool. But now I've got a cold and that sucks a bit....

Merry Christmas to everybody
and
happy any-other-holidays you may be celebrating just now.


WannabePunkEmoKid x =)

Sorry about that last journal, I was quite annoyed about what somebody had said earlier but thats all in the past, tomorrow is another day etc. etc. Now I'm feeling pretty happy about stuff in general even if its not all that great but I'm certainly not the worst of person ever. I made a playlist of 'Uplifting Songs', burned some incense sticks (wasted about 6 matches in the process) and then lay on the floor with my eyes shut and 'meditated'. First I was thinking about all this relaxing beach stuff but then I just started to see loadsa people smiling and that made me smile and so on. WannabePunkEmoKid =)

...'till schools finished for about 12 days (used to be longer). I mean I could ditch tomorrow but what the heck would I do, I can't really play guitar (=[) 'cause Mums on a night shift tonight, if I stay off I'll probably be reduced to doing something pretty sad like.... i dunno, lying on the floor doing nothing which I actually done last night for about an hour. I should really find something worthwhile to do....

Today was one of those days when you just felt like screaming 'shut the f*ck up' to everyone even when they weren't talking. It felt like I was standing in a crowded room shouting but nobody could hear me. I felt like everyone was talking about me even though I know they weren't, its just all those giggles and murmers and everything. I really wanna punch the wall, hard.

Tonight I was thinking about what I used to be like I guess, used to be as in two/three years ago. Its sorta strange, I mean I used to frown upon people like me now. The individuals - or as I called 'em goths, emos, freaks etc. I thought people who wore black all the time would self-harm in some way. And all those girls who were into everything that was 'in', I called them sluts and whores (I bearly knew what that was then though) but in a way I sorta looked up to them and, thinking about it, I was jealous of them. Oh yeah I was a bit of a raver as well. I used to quite like basshunter and stuff like that (ew...). At school discos I would rave just 'cause everyone else did. Then shit happened as it does. I used to wanna fit in, be like all of them. Now I just wanna be myself and be accepted for who I am. Strange how much we can change in a few years. W.P.E.K x

Today is thirty years since John Lennon was shot, I forgot about that til like two seconds ago.

The schools all got closed today because of the weather and then when I got home we (me and my brother) had to help somebody push their car along the road. Funny how the whole countrys came to a standstill because of the snow...