I have have never had a date in my life. Surprised? No, you aren't. But for the good news: I have now figured out why. It isn't just because I am a loser (though that's a big part of it) but rather because their are some sort of... cosmic barriers preventing me from going on a "date" (whatever that is). Now for the REALLY good news (for me, you probaly don't care) I have a weapon to take them down. Can you guess what it is? That's right. Solitare. One winning game of spider solitare could hold off the barriers for up to a couple of hours. Now, that doesn't give much time to ask a girl and overcome my loserness (loserness? is that a word?) but at least I have some chance. Now I know I'm not going to impress any girls with this, but that's not the point. I'm just changing the fabric of time and space for long enough to give me some sort of tiny chance to impress a girl. I know you think this is ridiculous, so I'll prove it to you. I have been constantly winning games of Klondike for years now, and my situation has improved... not at all. You're right. This is ridiculous. Solitare doesn't work. The cosmic barriers are unbreakable. I give up. I enjoy solitude anyway. ...well, long as I'm alone, might as well go play some solitare...

That is really all there is to say. Don't believe me? Well, this is a pretty stupid topic I am writing about right here, in fact it is rather weird. I am being driven krazy, but I don't suffer from insanity. I ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!! .....that about wore me out. Anyway, I feel moraly obligated to say this: I am about to start a behind-the-wheel driving class, so between 12:00 and 2:00 STAY OFF THE ROAD!!! For your own safty. IGIBIGI MASSA!!!! ....I am so weird....

I figure that no one is going to read this junk I type here, but you never know. So here is the experiment. If you are really bored enough to read this, then send me a message that says: "You are an idiot". Why? 'cause (1) it's true and (2) I can tell you have wanted to call me that since you found out I was still alive. That's right, Damian, you failed to kill me. And now I'm coming for you.