I can't believe I am here all these years later and doing what? Over thinking boys and their dumb games. But i can't help but think what could be if you stopped needed something more than me. And what I have to offer could potentially make you a better person but I am the bad person for wanting to pursue that side of life. Honestly, honestly, honestly. When you look into my eyes what do you see? I know you see nothing but an explosion of love. I know that because when I i look into your eyes I see the same thing staring back at me. Why deny that explosion? For selfish reasons no doubt. Is it becasue i have more curves than you have ever delt with in your life? Or is it that i am a more direct woman than you have had the pleasure of meeting in your life. It shouldn't matter to me. I was told to drop it by a mutual friend. So its done. Moving on. Moving on to ol Wes. Someone willing to give me their time. I can grow to have feelings for him. What a nightmare. All by my owe doing, of course. What is need is sleep and for it not to be one in the morning and for me not to have these confusing thoughts this late cause i can hardly think straight. Too much loneliness blocks out my pratical ideals. Get with it sister. And, sidenote, thank goodness that the ol older, devoted, married man fiasco is probably for the most part over with. I need to stop being so lazy and get my ass to making descisions. And possibly pulling out a loan for my car bullshit. Jesus. Time to man up and stop bullshitting around.