dang another catch up entry, ok well on saturday i pretty much stayed home all day, thinking about a lot of things. I wrote some new scripts and also had the sudden urge to just go walking. I tend to walk alot but this week didn't feel like enough. Also today, i went with me, my dad and my brother (bad grammar) to "Tates". If you aren't familiar with Tates, its a comic book store/card store, with alot of anime items. It was my first time, EVER going in there and i was pretty psyched. Inside i say figurines and manga galore, and vaguely reminded me of an anime convention. I'm hoping one comes to florida soon, i'm really hoping to go with some friends again. Anyways, for my first time going it was prety awesome. Afterwards, i just spent the rest of the night at home scripting and looking up more Indie rock songs. Dude, if you leave me with an Indie rock station for too long, pretty soon my Ipods gonna be filled spewing with indie rock. Later that night my dad had a speech, one of those, "im drunk" speech. I usually hates when he does this, but today was different. He talked about his past, and how he wants grand kids, we both shared a laugh because he said some things that related to me that put a smile on my face. I also burst out laughing when he said something so absurd it was funny, and it was i saw where it was coming from xD. When he finished, i talked with my little bro as we did some funny comments on what happened while playing Wii. Anyways a funny night, not usually what you'd expect, and i got what my dad was trying to say, a good source, "a drunk raving source" but still, and yeah, an alright night.

so the other day i joined SongMeanings, its a pretty awesome site. Who knew there would be a site where everyone can talk about how they feel about their music, how they feel music. Since i couldn't write a journal the other day, due to Journalism, I'm catching up today. A lil bit about me? I'm a director to be, and am currently working on something. I have a small crew with my friends, my friend Richard who is my leading actor, and Matthew, my cameraman. I have the vision perfectly in my head, but... these weeks have been really weird for me. I feel inadequate to the world...cliche as that may be. I have been very, "overthinkitive" about things lately, it seems to be affecting me, and everyone around me. I don't think that they would care much though, i mean, its just one person,, what one person compared to the entire world right? i can't stand myself either. I feel like, i can never be happy no matter how i try. Last week, part of my crazy three weeks I've been going through, it was around 12 AMish, and I'm walking home. All my friends were busy with their doings and i felt a sadness, not the regular sadness from the last 3 weeks, but something deeper, i felt it, its that feeling you get, the emptiness in your chest after you think of a very old memory, a memory you can't seem to forget, one that haunts you with its happiness. I left their house like a spirit, like, i was invisible. Walking home is easy for me usually, but this week, was different. As i reached the long, straight path from the corner of a stop sign to my community's gate, i start thinking these memories. It fills me with pain and regret, and sorrow. Half way through the walk, i just collapse on the floor. I'm still conscious, I'm just....on the floor. I sit there, thinking, and thinking. I'm on the floor and i feel a tear from my left eye. I closed my eyes, and woke up 10 minutes later, and continued my walk. This part of the sidewalk is always vacant, so it didn't feel like i was in danger. I finally make it home at 1ish, and fall on my bed, thinking those same thoughts i thought 10 minutes ago.