Becca14's Journal

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  • Confusion

    by Becca14 on May 06, 2010
    They all do. Everyone I'm sure of them all. For 'He' says you have to. But I complain I have reasons Why I won't and don't It makes sense right? 0_o All end all the time, with that 'Infriscum' 'Confusion' Why would 'You'?, All that SICK! Strong-Broken Even If I, (we) heel from the last. If It ends. No matter what Always Makes No Sense. And That's one That I'll always be able to subtract 'Confusion' from. I'm sure That will always be there. (So, If you bothered to Read this, I don't do 'Relationships'. I have my reasons why. For one I don't see the point in them, They don't seem to ever add up. and That 'Poem' Is explaining it in a small portion) -Thanx, Becca.
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  • 5-3-10, edited 'Faith', (: (I hope it's well, 'good'.

    by Becca14 on May 04, 2010
    Can this be? Is it 'real',when I see I will believe. even so, I will question as it comes. for that, 'Infriscum' will always live. 'Faith'? Why it says as loving,but shows as hypocritical. Theirs ever lasting. What will happen? Shall I just wait and see... Is this 'wrong!', to have questions. I think I wil, but of course am still not 'sure' Scattered as a dripping mirror. As I say all these 'words'. There no exact. I do not know. (as they don't) Is there a 'Truth?', with all. There just has to be!.(who would make a life with no meaning!) As 'Faith' is in the middle, a scary 'Thing'. Let it come? Maybe.
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  • I've had enough of your games.

    by Becca14 on April 25, 2010
    It won't be pretty, they say your a jealous "god" oh yeah loving? HA-HA, then why? hmm why for it all?, You don't even bother showing me, the lowest little tiniest, nothing!?, 0_o fuck these, "infriscumblationuses", I've had enough, your throwing everything at me, your so pathetic Give it a rest, your not going to win, your never gunna.
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  • Faith, (wrote it at 3:00 in the morning (3-31-10(:)

    by Becca14 on April 01, 2010
    Faith, (my middle name) Can It be? Is It real? When I see, I will believe. Even So, I will question as it comes. It's all so horrifying. Faith? 0_o It seems as loving. But shows, as hypocritical. Theirs many. What will happen? Shall I just wait and see? Is it wrong to have questions with no answers? I think I will, But am still not sure. Scattered as a dripping mirror. When I say those words, It's nor right or wrong. I Do Not Know. Is there a truth? As faith Is In the middle, a scary way. What will be of this? Let it come, maybe?
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  • Why?, is not a fucking question!

    by Becca14 on March 19, 2010
    Andrew, is No more Haa. I am now going to be focusing on doing whatever pleases me to be enetertained to the highest of my abilities, Doing everything I Possibly can to have fun and just an all the way blast In my life, That IS going to be filled with joy and laughter(: WHY! ha, well i have an answer i had to make one, not going to go looking about for a realationship or "benefits", with any guy. I'll let life come as it pleases, and as it does my both mind and heart will be opened. Why does water have to be a refletion of realaity, Sometimes i wish it lied, Clouds man why could'nt whoever made this, "world" decide to put them in all the way, or not make them come as they please, why does the weather have to be bipolar, why could'nt we just have one seaseon that worked for everyone??, (if there is an answer, why can't "you" just tell us?, I'm Speaking with my heart and mind that whoever decided to give me, if you gave me life and your so great as to make this beautiful world, why can't you answer these questions, answer them, or i WILL fall away, I no longer want to go about having these missing parts to me, i need them to be answered, and if you, (whoever you are) won't do that for me, I won't Follow the way you decide to lead. I'll turn right back around, and dis you, As life does reality, "It's fake", and disgusts me.
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  • Andrew.

    by Becca14 on March 17, 2010
    Well, what's the story with "Andrew" you ask, well I met him about a year ago, at first i thought he was just your everyday guy. we didn't really talk much, but as the year went on, he started sitting next to me on the bus, and we were just friends, talking about classes, and teachers, then he gave me his number, and we continued our talk when we would get home. Then are conversations would get really interesting we would bring up different subjects, that oddly, we were both really into, like afterlife, if it's real or not, supernatural stuff, and all kinds of odd crazy things. He told me all kinds of things about himself, soon we new just about everything about each other, i told him things i never even told my best friends, and he did the same, we soon told each other things NOBODY new about ourselves. Then it was just a normal day, and we were practically texting the whole day, out of no where he tells me hey can i tell you something, i said sure, he says well the first day your friend Denise introduced me to you, i really thought you were cute, and when i started getting to know you i really liked you, and i still do, and well, i want to be your boyfriend,.. i had no clue what to say, so i didn't reply, then he calls me and says I'm sorry for just throwing it all onto you like that, but i really wanted you to know how i feel, i was practically speechless, because we had never spoken about relationships and stuff. (And i had never got the clue i would need to tell him that I plan on never having a boyfriend having sex or getting married or anything because just relationships like that didn't make sense to me, and there just well stupid.) (to me). but sure enough, i stopped texting him the rest of the night, with a lot of things on my mind, and i just thought everything through, the next day, after school he's walking with me, were both quiet, and says rebecca will you be my girlfriend, i literally felt like i was going to fucken cry, with a hundred different questions and thoughts going through my head, not knowing what I'm going to say, like. will he still be my friend if i say no? is he going to go and tell everyone that is aid no?, and will that give me a bad name or something??, i was so scarred, so with my thinking face on, i answered sure..and he said alright, with a huge fucken smile aha, i was just sooo nervous inside, because the thought in my head was FUCK! i have a boyfriend, and i don't even want it this way, i want us to just be friends how we used to be, and now great! our friendships going to be ruined because of my freaking answer!:/. we eventually went home, with a lot of thoughts in my head, i called one of my closes friends up, and told her what had happened, and she kept asking me questions and stuff, i told her how i feel about the whole thing. she asks me, "well Becca be honest do you like him in that way, I mean come on!?", i thought it through and WOW, i did but what was making me blacked from these kinds of thoughts from a guy?, the answer to that was i shoved all relationships, with a guy other then friends out of my life, and everyone new I wasn't looking for a boyfriend, or anything like that, WTF! why didn't any one bother telling Andrew this before he started liking me! ughhhh!, well that was kind of my job (haha). and then it came to me, i do like him, he's super cute, i love everything about him! literally!, personality! wise, his interests, his dislikes i mean everything!. so i decided to stay with him, until!... ha i have practice right now lol, so when i get back, or tomorrow or something I'll finish with the "Andrew" story(:, until then goodbye(:
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  • My word(:

    by Becca14 on March 15, 2010
    hello there, (smiles) well I made my own word, with it's meaning. It all started one day when I was on my space. There was a lot going on at the time and I didn't feel like sending out a text or making phone calls to friends/ family as to why I was being the way I was being. So I said heck!, why not just write it as my status(:, logged on, wrote what i needed to put, explaining my self in a small portion, but then, when I got to The mood, I didn't know which one to choose!, all of these things, (moods) were scattering in my head!, and there it came to me, haha, "infriscumblationus"!, haha I know huh!, like wtf! haha, but uh, to define that odd, but of amusing new word, (to me)it is.. "infriscumblationus"- every single possible word/characteristic/emotion/feeling, possible to mankind all put into one category.. or in this manner (word). ha well uh yes and done!(:, lol and people say I'm confusing! haha??, like huh lol, yes very confusing indeed. and there is details to my word, but i don't enjoy speaking of which, because nobody in my understanding has seemed to get a clear viewing of which, I don't want to anymore(:
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