Gahhh why must I be in love with my best friend?? It makes everything so complicated and gah I can't stand that she would rather be with someone like nifer than me "(

Um so you will never fucken believe this but i told A that I am in love with her. I think she took it okay, but now I just need to cry and cry and cry it feels like. Like I just cannot believe I told her my true feelings.: I will always love her no matter what, and it feels good to get that off my chest finally.: It's sad to think that no matter how hard i try, it is likely that we won't. End up together. I no longer know what to say, except holy shit what is wrong with me?!?

Weeellllll I totally effed up my sleep pattern and it's two days before we gotta go back to school again nonetheless...ha oh well. And I cried myself to sleep around midday today :( idk why but everything makes me upset lately and if I try to talk about something, I just start bawling and it doesnt fix Anything. Please come back....I need you more than she does :'(

OMG I have Kissed three different girls in the last 2 nights ...holy shift!!! Pimp much??? Well anyways it was all great and dandy except none of them were the girl I am madly in love with :((( I've loved this girl since the seventh grade and she's the one I want to marry someday. I want to give birth to her beautiful babies and tell her I love her every single day . I Wish she wasn't so opposed to the idea of even just. Dating me :(( if I can't end up with her, I'm going to be one lonely ass lesbian because there is no one else in the world who cAn compare to you!! I fucken love you and ill never be able to find someone as generous and caring and loving as you . That is all