Last week I worked up every ounce of courage I had left, and told her that I still, after all this time, like her. I could not actually admit to her that I do not like her, rather, that I am in love with her. I thought things would be different, because she gave me hope and made it seem like maybe she liked me as well. But that was not the case. Instead, she came to me for advice about her new girlfriend. I was more than willing to give her my best possible advice, and I have been putting on a fake smile for her ever since. I really wanted to get to the point where I would be able to tell her that I love her without ruining our friendship, but now I have to deal with this curve ball of sorts. Chances are, she will never know my true feelings. No one will.

words can't describe how much i love her. doesn't unrequited love suck bananas? lol

for riz. i hate being stuck here.... byeyahhs

for one thing, i am a total lesbo. i guess a few friends know that i am into chicks, but none of them know that i am, for the most part, full blown. they probably never will. i said yes to getting coffee sometime with a guy friend of mine today, and i am afraid he is going to think its a date. he is really super nice but obviously i dont swing that way. another confession of mine is that i told A that i would try to stop making myself throw up. HA. that lasted for less than a week. i even tried giving it up for lent and i gave in after a few days. i reaaaally want to stop but i dont know how. i was good for about a week and yesterday i relapsed again. oh and one more thing. it's not really a confession but it just happened so im gonna write it. a girl that sits in front of me just said she wants to lick my bajingo. im very startled.

overall, this is starting out as a good day. probably because i met a mexican XD