Well, it's Valentine's Day. Yay! :) ..kinda. I'm happy for a few reasons: My boyfriend and I went on an amazing date and he bought me tons of amazing records. (I collect them and listen to them :) ) I'm annoyed for a few reasons also: My brother has stolen my VCR and now he wants to hole himself up in my room listening to my Star Wars LP's. I'm sad and mad at myself for a few reasons as well: My boyfriend doesn't know this, but my heart is split three ways. The first part is the biggest portion, which belongs to my boyfriend. I've been with him for a good while now and things have been going pretty good, especially in comparison to my previous relationships. The second part is a smaller portion, which belongs to my very best friend in the world. I've known him almost two years, and I've had a crush on him this whole time, despite all the relationships I've been in. I don't really know what to do about him, because I've tried to get over him, and I can't shake this feeling. I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me, though. He's about five years older and lives really far away. The third part is about the same size portion as the second one, but it belongs to the third person, obviously. He's also one of my best guy friends, and I've known him for three years. I had a crush on him when we met, but he has a weird sense of humor, so for the last three years, I've assumed he's hated me. I was wrong. The other day, he finally got texting and we've been talking and he explained that he never had bad feelings towards me, and if he did, he would've just ignored me. He seemed to feel bad about all the bad things he said. He even told me I'm beautiful and that I'm a really sweet person. I like him a good amount, but I don't know if he likes me, too. It wouldn't matter much anyway, considering that I'm in a serious relationship already. But I can't help wondering... But this is why I'm mad: I don't want to know if my boyfriend likes anyone, which he's told me he doesn't, and I feel so guilty for liking people. It's like, when we lay in bed together, they're there, too, in theory, because I share my heart with all three of them. I know I should tell my boyfriend, but I know how bad it would hurt him. He's had so many bad relationships, and the last time he was in love, he got hurt really bad because it turned out to all be a lie. I feel like me telling him this would make it seem like my feelings for him were a lie, and I don't want to see him broken hearted again. I care for him so much, and I want to be truthful with him but like I've said, many times, I don't wanna hurt him. I feel stupid because I can't control my feelings for people... And I don't know what to tell the people I like. Do I let it go and not tell them? Do I let my feelings known and let it get back to my amazing boyfriend? Ahhh... I'm so confused.