i do this stupid fucking thing where i keep starting to hate the people who love me. it's like i forget all the reasons why i love them back. and focus on all the reasons they're going to start to hate me. fucking stop it. just stop. he loves you. he loves you he loves you he loves you. please don't make him stop.

it was so perfect. just you and me. standing in the ocean, the sun lighting up our faces the same way your touch lights up my will to be. but it's terrifying you know. like there's so much riding on this. you're my forever now. the very first future i could see. you're the dogs i want. the place i want to live. the life i want to lead. i mean doubts come and go sometimes. creep up and scare the shit out of me. sometimes my only comfort is not being able to picture an alternative. because they all suck. i just have to remind myself to calm down. don't stress. just be happy for what's happening. don't worry about what's next. this is something amazing. don't be fucking greedy with it. it's real. i promise.